IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that modern technology encourages more sociable behaviour. Others say that this leads to lesser sociable behaviour. Discuss both views with examples and provide your opinion.

#people #technology #behaviour
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Altgough
Correct your spelling
Although
Latest
Correct article usage
the Latest
show examples
 technical
aspects
Use synonyms
 fashion a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
well
Change the adverb
good
show examples
attitude
Fix the agreement mistake
attitudes
show examples
 in
society
Use synonyms
 but it reduces the human well behave. There are both advantages and disadvantages to
this
Linking Words
 argument. From my perspective, there is no alternative
way
Use synonyms
 using
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
technology to create positive
aspects
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, we are now
submersed
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submerged
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
digital
systems
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. We have to do a
lot
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 of
things
Use synonyms
. To accomplish these works in a very short time we have to
enroll
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enrol
show examples
 a
lot
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 of criteria. Digital
systems
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 are the
way
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 where it can drive people in
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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critical
things
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 and remove
him
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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various
aspects
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. As a consequence, electronic
systems
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provides
Change the verb form
provide
show examples
 a flexible path. It moulds a person's character in a cognitive
way
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.
Thus
Linking Words
, technology forms a man expression
whrere
Correct your spelling
where
 they can use it in their practical life.
Such
Linking Words
 a thing that
human
Replace the word
humanity
show examples
 has to achieve in a long time they can now acquire
this
Linking Words
 in a very short time.
For instance
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, in ancient people just use only letters and it creates hinder for them to recognise human's mentality. Using
facebook
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Facebook
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, messenger etcetera they could learn about
the
Correct article usage
apply
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facial expression.
On the other hand
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, it
construct
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constructs
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 a mix-up
affect
Replace the word
effect
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. Persons are now learning various
things
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 which create a
confilct
Correct your spelling
conflict
 in the
society
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.
As a result
Linking Words
, they engage themselves in a quaint situation. It
also
Linking Words
 scamps them in a furious situation where they cannot get rid of themselves from
this
Linking Words
 dangerous situation.
Moreover
Linking Words
, a man's behaviour is relegating
day
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 by
day
Use synonyms
 where it creates a
lot
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 of lure in the
society
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 and there forms strikes, disappearance etcetera. People's brains are getting demotivated
day
Use synonyms
 by
day
Use synonyms
 and they are misleading
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
 periodically.
For example
Linking Words
,
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 provides unethical
systems
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 where a person acquires it and implements it in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
 which shows a lack of social behaviour. In conclusion, technical
things
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 are favourable to lead the
society
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 in a good
way
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.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, accepting
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
inaccurate
aspects
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 can create social distress. I am
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
opinion
Correct article usage
the opinion
show examples
, technology is the best solution to create good ones in social
systems
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Sadiq on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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