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Writing Samples
Band 4

More and more people today are drinking sugar-based drinks. What are the reasons for this? What are the solutions?

#people #drinks
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70% of the human
boby
Correct your spelling
body
 contains water, where we have to drink
atleast
Correct your spelling
at least
 2.5
liter
Change to a plural noun
liters
show examples
 of water on a daily basis.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 as a
Replace the word
customer
show examples
custom
Add a comma
,custom
show examples
 we can observe that many people all around the world drink
Use synonyms
sugar based
Add a hyphen
sugar-based
show examples
drinks
Use synonyms
 on a
regulary
Correct your spelling
regular
 basis.According to the recent research paper released by
world leading
Add a hyphen
world-leading
show examples
 beverage company that their annual customers increased by 12% compared to
last
Linking Words
 year which was a clear
indicate
Replace the word
indication
show examples
 of
this
Linking Words
 norm. There are various reasons
contributed
Correct pronoun usage
that contributed
show examples
 to the
increase
Replace the word
increased
show examples
Use synonyms
consumpation
Correct your spelling
consumption
 of
Use synonyms
sugar based
Add a hyphen
sugar-based
show examples
drinks
Use synonyms
 in
current
Add an article
the current
show examples
 context.Now we will look at the factors in
Correct article usage
a detail
show examples
detail
Replace the word
detailed
show examples
 manner.
Correct your spelling
In order
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Inorder
Correct your spelling
In order
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 to get out from the day to day work stress many people starts to go for outing with their friends
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
weekend
Add an article
the weekend
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 evening to various eateries
where in
Correct your spelling
wherein
show examples
 their menu most of them only
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
Use synonyms
sugar based
Add a hyphen
sugar-based
show examples
drinks
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their customers .
Therefore
Linking Words
 customers
donot
Correct your spelling
do not
don't
 have any other option so whether they like it or not they have to consume
those kind
Change the determiner
that kind
those kinds
show examples
 of
drinks
Use synonyms
.
Correct your spelling
Moreover
show examples
More over
Correct your spelling
Moreover
show examples
, when we turn the television we can clearly figure out
lot
Add an article
a lot
show examples
 of
advertisment
Correct your spelling
advertisement
 with regard to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
sugar based
Add a hyphen
sugar-based
show examples
drinks
Use synonyms
 where we
cant
Correct your spelling
can't
show examples
 see any single advertisement with regard to the non or
lower
Add a hyphen
lower-level
show examples
level
Use synonyms
sugar
Use synonyms
baed
Correct your spelling
based
show examples
drinks
Use synonyms
,so
this
Linking Words
 kind of
advertisment
Correct your spelling
advertisement
 influence the human brain to
cousume
Correct your spelling
consume
 it.
As a result
Linking Words
 of
Use synonyms
sugar based
Add a hyphen
sugar-based
show examples
Use synonyms
drinks
Fix the agreement mistake
drink
show examples
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
consumption
consumpation
Add a comma
,consumpation
show examples
 we can
observed
Wrong verb form
observe
show examples
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of cases
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all over the national
level
Use synonyms
 hospital.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
 it leads to
create
Change the verb form
creating
show examples
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 unhealthy teenage in near future.
Therefore
Linking Words
 each person make a clear
Correct your spelling
mindset
show examples
mind set
Correct your spelling
mindset
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that I am not going to drink or reduce
Use synonyms
consumpation
Correct your spelling
consumption
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
sugar based
Add a hyphen
sugar-based
show examples
drinks
Use synonyms
 to
certain
Add an article
a certain
show examples
level
Use synonyms
 for each month.If you
are starts
Change the verb form
start
show examples
 to follow up
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
on this
show examples
 practice on a regular basis
then
Linking Words
 one day we can get out
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
habbit
Correct your spelling
habit
 to
certain
Correct article usage
a certain
show examples
level
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
 either by paying
slightly
Add an article
a slightly
show examples
 higher amount to
eatstries
Correct your spelling
eateries
 get some sort of
non
Add a hyphen
non-sugar
show examples
sugar
Use synonyms
 or less
Use synonyms
sugar based
Add a hyphen
sugar-based
show examples
drinks
Use synonyms
. In the current
context
Add a comma
,context
show examples
 it is clear that cant
avoid
Change the verb form
avoids
show examples
 the
Use synonyms
consumpation
Correct your spelling
consumption
 of
Use synonyms
sugar based
Add a hyphen
sugar-based
show examples
drinks
Use synonyms
 due
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
non
Add a hyphen
non-avavilablity
show examples
avavilablity
Correct your spelling
availability
 of options and more
focuse
Correct your spelling
focus
focused
advertisment
Correct your spelling
advertisement
advertising
campaign
Fix the agreement mistake
campaigns
show examples
.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 as a human
being
Add a comma
,being
show examples
 we have to take certain control
measurment
Correct your spelling
measurement
measures
 in order to reduce the
Use synonyms
consumpation
Correct your spelling
consumption
 of it for an example reducing the weekly
Use synonyms
consumpation
Correct your spelling
consumption
 or paying slightly higher figure to get non or lower
Use synonyms
sugar based
Add a hyphen
sugar-based
show examples
drinks
Use synonyms
 which will bring
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of
benefit
Change to a plural noun
benefits
show examples
 to our
boby
Correct your spelling
body
baby
 as well as to our families.
Submitted by y.jena2 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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