IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

Advertising is all around us, it's an unavoidable part of everyone's life. Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our lives while others say it is a negative one. Discuss both views and include your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#part #life #people #lives
In your whole
day
Add a comma
,day
show examples
 you can see many advertisings
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 some items that you might like or dislike. Most
companies
 do advertise their items
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because they want to be more successful in their business. There are some advantages of advertising.
Correct article usage
The first
show examples
First
Correct article usage
The first
show examples
 one advantage is that advertising could help
Change preposition
apply
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
companies
 that want to find more customers that will be interested
in
Join the words
into
show examples
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
buying their products.
Also
, they always will help
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
customers, because on advertisements are usually showed where to find the products. Another advantage is that your company will be more profitable if you promote what you sell. Of
course
Add a comma
,course
show examples
 there are many disadvantages. Those
companies
 that want to promote their product will need to pay for the advertisements, but not every company have enough money to do that. Another disadvantage is that many people can be annoyed by those advertisements and decide to not buy their products. So, in
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
 I would like to say that too many advertisings could be bad for everyone. For the company and for the customers.
Add an article
The customer
show examples
Customer
Fix the agreement mistake
Customers
show examples
 would be annoyed and
companies
 would just lose their money.
Submitted by stormgreen on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: