In some countries, parents want their children to focus on their studies only. Because of this, many young people do not get their first job until after college. In other countries, many children get their first part-time job while still in high school. Which approach do you think is better? Why?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays there is a growing concern over the age of starting a job. Having temporary work
besides
studying during teen ages is being viewed as a norm in some cultures, while it is not acceptable for others.
Although
I have come from the latter society, I believe the former way of nurturing has brought those countries more benefits. In
this
essay, I will discuss the advantages of both views which is proceeding with a rationale for my opinion. On the one hand, involving in society with a part-time position deduced various conductive consequences for youngsters.
Firstly
, by being part of society from an early age, we are being trained to efficiently struggle with the drawbacks of our future careers.
In addition
, striving to make a balance between our occupation's commitments and our education forces us to be aware of the importance of time managing which plays a vital role in being a successful resident.
Moreover
, it is not only the best but
also
the easiest way of finding our interest and fostering our skills.
For instance
, my father found his passion in cooking and follow it to become a well-known chef after spending one summer doing the dishes in a kitchen.
On the other hand
, staying at home educating might be preferable for parents to spending time earning pocket money. Two reasons are existing behind
this
attitude.
First
, the role of education in having a favoured career is out of the question. In some ,countries students do not have enough free time to focus on other activities.
For example
, in Iran for entering universities, you need to pass an entrance exam which requires a full year of overwhelming education.
Secondly
, teenagers are at a greater risk of being exploited,
hence
parents believe by letting their children work in a not familiar environment, they are not only putting them in a danger but
also
taking their chance to succeed. I am not completely in agreement with the above-said view, because it suffers from the disadvantage that puts students in a way which ended in being graduated from fields that they are not really interested in, like medicine. To sum up,
nevertheless
Add a comma
,nevertheless
show examples
there are undoubtedly some difficulties with working from an early age, it has brought the countries where have been persuading their children to do
such
a thing, more enthusiastic and happier workers. I agree that providing a safe working environment for teens can help societies to glow.
Submitted by panizfathi70128 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: