The United Nations recently celebrated its 70th anniversary. What benefits has it brought during this time? Do you think the UN will last another 70 years?

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The United Nations, or the UN, was created after
World
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War II, to maintain
peace
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and tranquillity between nations. It has several sister organizations like the
World
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Health Organization. The highest deciding body of the UN is the Security Council with 5 permanent
members-USA
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members

The word members-USA doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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, Russia, China, France and the United Kingdom. For the past 70
years
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, the UN has maintained
peace
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in the
world
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and in my opinion, it will
last
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as long as humanity lasts, and not just for another 70
years
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. The primary responsibility of the UN is maintaining
peace
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and it has done
this
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very well. The
world
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has avoided a nuclear catastrophe thanks to the UN. During the
years
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of the Cold War, the USA and the Soviet Union could resolve all contentious issues at the Security Council, and
thus
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avoid military build-up.
Also
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, many countries in Africa, the
middle-east
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Middle East

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, parts of Asia and Latin America have faced civil wars, and the UN has had to send peacekeeping forces there to save the lives of the people.
For
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

example
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, many lives in Uganda were saved by the Indian peacekeeping forces.
In addition
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to the above roles, the UN
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

works through its sister organizations like WHO and UNESCO, to provide access to health and education to many impoverished people across the
world
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.
For
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

example
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, poor kids suffering from malnutrition in Sudan, Namibia and many other famine-stricken countries were rescued by volunteers
of
Change preposition
from

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WHO. Another
example
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is the tribal children living in remote jungles getting education from UNESCO volunteers. In a nutshell, the UN has played an exemplary role in maintaining
peace
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and prosperity throughout. There is a need to modernize the UN,
for
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

example
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,
adding
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by adding

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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India as a permanent member of the Security Council and increasing the voting rights of developing countries. In the next 70
years
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, I foresee the UN administering and maintaining
peace
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in space too.

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task response
Your response to the task is mostly complete, but you could provide a more nuanced perspective on the future of the UN, citing potential challenges and considerations that might influence its longevity.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a clear logical structure, with a well-organized introduction and conclusion. Ensure that your ideas are effectively connected within each paragraph to enhance overall coherence.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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