The education you receive from your family is more important than the education you receive from school." To what extent do you agree with this statement and why?

It is widely believed that children’s upbringing from their family affects
people
more than they receive from schools. From my point of view, I suppose that what we learn from our relatives in our childhood is crucial. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I shall explain a few benefits of
home
education
.
Firstly
, several surveys show that the most active period of human brain development happens at 0-3 ages. In that time, we spend most of the time at our
home
with our family by learning new things.
Thus
, we tend to grasp the fundamental understanding of life from our closest
people
, specifically from our parents. These comprehensions help to build our characters, perspectives in every single situation in life and it still affects our adulthood.
Secondly
, the other benefit that homeschooling offers to
people
is the opportunity for parents to connect with their children deeply. While the children grow up day by day, it appears that family members are distancing themselves from each other step by step by focusing on their own lives.
Therefore
, we need to value
this
irreplaceable time in our lives by teaching and helping our children become good
people
.
However
, those benefits from
home
educating do not fit
for
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apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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some families who cannot afford to take care of their child’s
education
by themselves,
instead
of working in a full-time job. Despite
this
, if
people
get over these difficulties, they will get several advantages of earning an
education
at
home
. To summarize, learning from our family happens
first
in our lives,
then
school
education
comes after. And while we learn from our family members, our bonds get closer. For that reason, the
education
Add an article
the education

The noun phrase education seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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we receive from our family is vital and it affects our future life more than school
education
.
Submitted by alexstudyin on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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