Many old buildings are protected by law because they are part of a nation's history. However, some people think old buildings should be knocked down to make way for new ones because people need houses and offices. How important is it to maintain old buildings? Should history stand in the way of progress?

Old architectures, in any
cities
Fix the agreement mistake
city

It seems that cities may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, are evidence of a compulsory part of its
history
. It is argued,
however
, that these
buildings
should be replaced with new ones
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma before the dependent clause marker since. Consider removing the comma.

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since the demand for accommodations and workplaces are rising more each day. Personally, I believe that the maintenance of historical structures is necessary and should not be demolished in replacement of progress. The exploration of ancient architecture gives people a closer look into different aspects of
history
and
therefore
encourages cultural knowledge. It gives us lessons and messages from the people in the past and the past itself, many of them containing unique and significant meanings that are priceless to the modern world. The
buildings
allow people to understand
history
, be aware of it and its truth,
instead
of merely reading about it from the recorded articles.
Furthermore
, these structures could
also
be significant to the economy and, specifically, to tourism, of many different countries. Tourism is a flourishing business that provides a great amount of income, and to many cities, these
buildings
play a crucial role in attracting tourists. Ergo, the preservation and promotion of
these ancient architecture
Change the determiner
this ancient architecture

It appears that the plural demonstrative these is modifying the singular noun architecture. Consider using a singular demonstrative or a plural noun instead.

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from the government.
Additionally
,
modernisation
Correct article usage
the modernisation

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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of
buildings
should not be equal to replacing historical sites. Humanity never stops developing, and they constantly seek advice from the past. They explore the mistakes from those architectures to develop their skyscrapers, comparing residential houses from
history
to base their modern residential
buildings
. The historical structures are needed, even in the building of new ones. To sum up, the maintenance of historic construction is essential, as they teach lessons and convey messages from the past to modern society. Not only that, but they benefit their cities and countries economically and in constructions as well.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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