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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that the best way to become successful in life is to get a university education, whereas others say this is no longer true. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In our contemporary society, getting a
university
Use synonyms
education
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 is been the best
way
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 to become successful in
life
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. But some
people
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 disagree about that.
This
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 essay will discuss
my
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
both these views and give my opinion.
First
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 of all,
people
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 who study in
university
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 had knowledge about their major.
University
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education
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 takes them about 4-5
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
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 to complete the major, so they will take a lot of time to research about that.
For example
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, research by Queen
University
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 in 2010 showed that many high school student studies for the final test to graduate from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high school, which depend on their mark
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 admission to the school. We can be clearly seen
that
Correct word choice
apply
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the importance of getting a
university
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education
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.
On the other hand
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,
people
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 who did not
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
a university student
university students
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university
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 students
still
Add a missing verb
are still
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successful
Replace the word
succeed
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 in
life
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.
Instead
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, they will have
life
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 experiences
such
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 as presentation skills, communication skills, and marketing skills.
For instance
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, in my family,
people
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 who were born in
’70s
Change the article
the ’70s
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 usually do not study at
university
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, but now they are still successful
people
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 in various fields and
also
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 provide their family and their children a good
life
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. So, getting a
university
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 is not the only
way
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 to succeed in
life
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. In conclusion, I think getting a
university
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education
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 can not be decided human’s
life
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. To become successful in
life
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, we need to choose a
way
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which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 is suitable for our decision.
Additionally
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, learning a new language
such
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 as English, Japanese, and Chinese is
also
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 a good
way
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 to have a good job and success in
life
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.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • university degree
  • specialized knowledge
  • critical thinking skills
  • networking opportunities
  • vocational training
  • self-made entrepreneurs
  • gig economy
  • online courses
  • certifications
  • formal education
  • practical experience
  • lifelong learning
  • career goals
  • individual circumstances
  • academic qualifications
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