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Band 6.5

Many feel that happiness is mainly an individual responsibility, while others feel that there are important external factors. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#happiness #responsibility #factors
Happiness has many definitions which have changed from time to time. For some, it is all about money, for ,others it is following their passion and some say it lights up their inner self. There is always a debate around if it is an individual's own responsibility or is it dependent on important external factors? I will be discussing both views in the following paragraphs.
Firstly
, it is rightly said that beauty lies in the viewer's eyes.
This
 means that
,
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 it is your way of thinking and looking at the world. If someone is happy from the inside
then
 there is a greater possibility that others will not be able to affect him.
For instance
, the monks or saints who do meditation become so strong that whatever, you say them will not affect them. So, it depends on you how strong you are mentally and it is your own responsibility to protect your happiness. On the other ,hand there is a section of society that believes that a human being is a social animal so, there is no denying fact that he is dependent on external factors. In the majority of the
,
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cases human is greatly influenced by elements like the locality he is living in, the office where he is working or even friends with whom he meets. All these factors affect the behaviour of the community.
For example
, it is worth noticing that the families who are educated and financially stable or happier. I will nullify
this
 by saying that
this
 statement is true only for a few percentages of the public as the majority of the rich population hardly get time to think about these things. Overall, I will sump by saying that
although
 the definition of happiness is different for different people if a person strictly follows meditation and satisfy the inner self of himself
then
 surely none in the world can affect him.
Hence
, we can conclude that it is greatly the individual responsibility to be happy or not.
Submitted by sumitbakshi97 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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