Many feel that happiness is mainly an individual responsibility, while others feel that there are important external factors. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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Happiness has many definitions which have changed from time to time. For some, it is all about money, for ,others it is following their passion and some say it lights up their inner self. There is always a debate around if it is an individual's own responsibility or is it dependent on important external factors? I will be discussing both views in the following paragraphs.

Firstly

, it is rightly said that beauty lies in the viewer's eyes.

This

means that

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it is your way of thinking and looking at the world. If someone is happy from the inside

then

there is a greater possibility that others will not be able to affect him.

For instance

, the monks or saints who do meditation become so strong that whatever, you say them will not affect them. So, it depends on you how strong you are mentally and it is your own responsibility to protect your happiness. On the other ,hand there is a section of society that believes that a human being is a social animal so, there is no denying fact that he is dependent on external factors. In the majority of the

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cases human is greatly influenced by elements like the locality he is living in, the office where he is working or even friends with whom he meets. All these factors affect the behaviour of the community.

For example

, it is worth noticing that the families who are educated and financially stable or happier. I will nullify

this

by saying that

this

statement is true only for a few percentages of the public as the majority of the rich population hardly get time to think about these things. Overall, I will sump by saying that

although

the definition of happiness is different for different people if a person strictly follows meditation and satisfy the inner self of himself

then

surely none in the world can affect him.

Hence

, we can conclude that it is greatly the individual responsibility to be happy or not.

Submitted by sumitbakshi97 on Sat Jan 15 2022

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

334 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Individual responsibility
External factors
Personal choices
Mindset
Attitude
Mental health
Self-improvement
Socioeconomic status
Financial stability
Social relationships
Supportive family
Environment
Living conditions
Neighborhood safety
Cultural factors
Interplay
Dispositions
Case studies
Practical strategies

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Many feel that happiness is mainly an individual responsibility, while others feel that there are important external factors. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.

More and more people are moving to big cities these day. Discuss both advantages and disadvantages of living in a large city.

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?