IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some people feel that the legal age at which people can marry should be at least 21. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.

#minutes #people #age
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days, a total of representatives of contemporary society deem that
people
Use synonyms
 should marry after the
age
Use synonyms
 of 21 and
such
Linking Words
 a requirement must be registered in the law. I advocate strongly with the statement of a
lagre
Correct your spelling
large
 number of the population and am going to reflect my own view of
such
Linking Words
 issue on
this
Linking Words
 essay. On the one hand, we can observe that the majority of
people
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 right. One of the main reasons why humans should marry after the
age
Use synonyms
 of 21 is composed of the modern lifestyle. At
first
Linking Words
, juveniles must leave schools and after that enrol in universities or colleges. Admittedly, a degree plays
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 essential part
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 human lives and educated persons are more valuable in the current time.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 with
qualification
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
show examples
 possess huge experience and knowledge.
Therefore
Linking Words
, these
people
Use synonyms
 are more prepared to marry and to become parents.
Hence
Linking Words
, the great
age
Use synonyms
 to engagement consists of the ending of the studying period.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some experts contend that the
age
Use synonyms
 for marry should be legalised. I tend to think that they are not right.
For instance
Linking Words
, representatives of contemporary youth do not want to get
education
Add an article
an education
the education
show examples
 and after
school
Add a comma
,school
show examples
 they are hired in workplaces. In spite of the young
age
Use synonyms
, some of them contemplate that they are ready to be a husband or a wife and engage.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I believe that if
such
Linking Words
 a marriage is employed for
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 purposes, its benefits
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
 its drawbacks.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
age
Add an article
the age
show examples
 for
marry
Replace the word
marriage
show examples
 should not be legal. To summarise, I would stress that persons must decide upon for themselves when they want to engage. What
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
 should do consists of supporting these marriages
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
Submitted by sunsistem123 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: