IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The best way to understand other cultures is to work for a multinational organization. To what extent to you agree or disagree?

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There has always been
the
Correct article usage
an
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 attraction to investigating other cultures through many people
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
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is
Verb problem
have
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came
Wrong verb form
come
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 up with the argument that
if
Correct word choice
apply
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working in
the
Correct article usage
a
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 multinational
companies
Fix the agreement mistake
company
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 is the best way. Even though I partially agree with the statement, there are better ways to comprehend a different culture. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
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 hand, people spend more than half of each day at work so they become close-knit with their colleagues of course.
Therefore
Linking Words
, perception and even transmission of some habits, attitudes and even
believes
Replace the word
beliefs
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 would be undeniable.
For example
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, they probably find out about each other’s eating habits through time and as a friend, may attend the ceremonies which
acquainted
Wrong verb form
acquaint
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 them with the other customs.
This
Linking Words
 acquaintance would
also
Linking Words
 lead them to resemblance but, there are always furtive aspects of a lifestyle that would not be revealed. On the flip side, spending time with co-workers and friends may not be the best approach to
Wrong verb form
understanding
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understand
Wrong verb form
understanding
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 a culture which is
Linking Words
although
Change preposition
apply
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one of the best ones. In my opinion, the most excellent way to comprehend a culture is to live among the population as a member of
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 for at least a year. It would lead a person to learn their language which is, I think,
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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the radical step to find out about a new lifestyle.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the opportunity
of
Change preposition
for
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 broad communication would be given to the individual if she can speak the local tongue.
This
Linking Words
, simultaneous with observing and attending regional ceremonies,
for instance
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, would help a person to learn a different lifestyle with the flesh and blood.
To conclude
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, despite that some people
are intending
Wrong verb form
intend
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 to work in a multinational organization as a way to understand other cultures, it may not be the finest method to achieve
this
Linking Words
 goal. There would be better procedures
such
Linking Words
 as becoming a member of the society to know the custom, in my view.

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Task Achievement
You need to ensure that your ideas are fully developed and that you provide more specific examples to support your points. Also, pay attention to the organization of your essay, and make sure that your introduction and conclusion clearly present your position.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have made some good points, but the logical structure of your essay could be improved. Ensure that your ideas flow smoothly and are logically connected throughout the essay.
Lexical Resource
Your use of vocabulary is quite good in this essay. However, try to use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely and convey a deeper understanding of the topic.
Grammatical Range
You have demonstrated a reasonably good control of grammar and sentence structure. However, there are instances of awkward phrasing and errors that affect the overall fluency of your writing. Pay attention to sentence structure and aim for more complex and varied sentence constructions.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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