The best way to understand other cultures is to work for a multinational organization. To what extent to you agree or disagree?

#cultures #work #organization

There has always been

the

Correct article usage

show examples

attraction to investigating other cultures through many people

which

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

Verb problem

have

show examples

came

Wrong verb form

come

show examples

up with the argument that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

working in

the

Correct article usage

show examples

multinational

companies

Fix the agreement mistake

company

show examples

is the best way. Even though I partially agree with the statement, there are better ways to comprehend a different culture. On

one

Correct article usage

the one

show examples

hand, people spend more than half of each day at work so they become close-knit with their colleagues of course.

Therefore

, perception and even transmission of some habits, attitudes and even

believes

Replace the word

beliefs

show examples

would be undeniable.

For example

, they probably find out about each other’s eating habits through time and as a friend, may attend the ceremonies which

acquainted

Wrong verb form

acquaint

show examples

them with the other customs.

This

acquaintance would

also

lead them to resemblance but, there are always furtive aspects of a lifestyle that would not be revealed. On the flip side, spending time with co-workers and friends may not be the best approach to

Wrong verb form

understanding

show examples

understand

Wrong verb form

understanding

show examples

a culture which is

although

Change preposition

apply

show examples

one of the best ones. In my opinion, the most excellent way to comprehend a culture is to live among the population as a member of

them

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

for at least a year. It would lead a person to learn their language which is, I think,

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

the radical step to find out about a new lifestyle.

Therefore

, the opportunity

Change preposition

for

show examples

broad communication would be given to the individual if she can speak the local tongue.

This

, simultaneous with observing and attending regional ceremonies,

for instance

, would help a person to learn a different lifestyle with the flesh and blood.

To conclude

, despite that some people

are intending

Wrong verb form

intend

show examples

to work in a multinational organization as a way to understand other cultures, it may not be the finest method to achieve

this

goal. There would be better procedures

such

as becoming a member of the society to know the custom, in my view.

Submitted by Sarah_nazari on Mon Jan 17 2022

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Task Achievement

You need to ensure that your ideas are fully developed and that you provide more specific examples to support your points. Also, pay attention to the organization of your essay, and make sure that your introduction and conclusion clearly present your position.

Coherence and Cohesion

You have made some good points, but the logical structure of your essay could be improved. Ensure that your ideas flow smoothly and are logically connected throughout the essay.

Lexical Resource

Your use of vocabulary is quite good in this essay. However, try to use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely and convey a deeper understanding of the topic.

Grammatical Range

You have demonstrated a reasonably good control of grammar and sentence structure. However, there are instances of awkward phrasing and errors that affect the overall fluency of your writing. Pay attention to sentence structure and aim for more complex and varied sentence constructions.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

309 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The best way to understand other cultures is to work for a multinational organization. To what extent to you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some cities of the world, cars are repalcing bicycles. However, in some other cities, bicycles are replacing cars. What are the reasons for these two developments. In your opinion, which one is better?

Public libraries should only provide books and should not waste their limited resources on expensive high-tech media such as software, videos or DVDs. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays many students are participating in international exchange trips. Is this a positive or a negative development?

In most cities and towns, the high volumes of road traffic have become a problem. What are the causes and what actions could be taken to solve the problem?

Throughout history, people dream to live in a perfect society while they haven’t agreed what the ideal society would be like. What is the most important element you think makes a perfect society? What people do to achieve an ideal society?