some people believe that construction of new public buildings such as museum town hall and sporting facility is more important than renovation of the existing ones, while others disagree. discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Some individuals believe that rather than reconstructing an old building that includes museums,town halls and sporting facilities,the
government
should invest in developing new public monuments.I completely agree with the notion which states that the Administration must invest in the renovation of Use synonyms
the
older public places.I would like to explicate both views in the upcoming paragraphs.
To commence with,a section of society that focuses on new construction gives the first and foremost opinion that Correct article usage
apply
as
these old monuments have been made using old technology which can lead to serious issues.For,example recently a survey was conducted which depicts that most of the old museums are made of concrete materials that are not in practice nowadays,Correct word choice
apply
thus
if any natural calamity occurs like earthquakes it can demolish the entire building.Linking Words
Thus
,we cannot put the Linking Words
life
of common Fix the agreement mistake
lives
people
in danger.Use synonyms
Secondly
,these buildings have been made which Linking Words
fulfilling
the legal formalities.Wrong verb form
fulfil
However
,there are cases where buildings were made covering more area Linking Words
as
Correct word choice
than
it
actually required,Correct pronoun usage
they
thus
Linking Words
this
excess land that they are utilizing could be used for Linking Words
government
schools Use synonyms
as well as
hospitals.Linking Words
Due to
these reasons,Linking Words
people
suggest that Use synonyms
instead
of renovating these buildings make a new one.
Linking Words
Conversely
,the other section of the society asserts that Linking Words
instead
of constructing a new building it is beneficial to make improvements in an older monument.Linking Words
Firstly
,it is economical to re-invest in an old building.In other ,words Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
belives
that the Correct your spelling
believes
government
could have saved tons of money which they can invest in important public sectors like health and education.Use synonyms
Furthermore
,these old monuments are known for their historic significance,If the Linking Words
government
spends the tax money on Use synonyms
the
new building Correct article usage
a
instead
of an old monument,Linking Words
then
it is destroying Linking Words
our
history that we get connected with when we visit the place.Change the word
the
Moreover
,these individuals believe that Linking Words
instead
of spending Linking Words
tax
payer's income Correct article usage
the tax
in
a new building it is beneficial to spend Change preposition
on
in
an older monument.
In conclusion,I believe that there may be myriad advantages Change preposition
on
in
renovating an older place like the Change preposition
to
government
can save Use synonyms
people
from undue risks.Apart Use synonyms
from
, they can save huge land which can be used by high officials for public departments.But,I strongly believe in spite of its merits one cannot ignore its demerits Correct pronoun usage
from that
like
The Administration can save a ton of money Change preposition
apply
while
re-investing in an older building,Linking Words
also
they have no right to play with the history of our ancestors.Linking Words
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Task Response
The essay lacks a clear response to the prompt. The arguments are not consistently developed and a clear position is not maintained throughout the essay. It is important to organize ideas coherently and ensure that each paragraph addresses the task question directly.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has some logical structure, but it lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. The arguments are presented in a disorganized manner, making it difficult for the reader to follow. It would greatly benefit from a more coherent structure with clear topic sentences and well-developed body paragraphs.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.