IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#position #women #societies #years #gender #equality
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During the
last
 50 years, the state of
women
 in society has changed since it would never reach
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the conclusion that they can be treated equally.
This
 essay would describe the reasons
of
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for
show examples
inequality
Correct article usage
the inequality
show examples
 of genders
such
 as
men
employed
Add a missing verb
being employed
show examples
 in well-payed high employments, and
women
's
protest
Fix the agreement mistake
protests
show examples
 for having
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
rights
 as
men
.
Finally
,
This
 essay would agree that gender equality is not
stablished
Correct your spelling
established
 in today society for the reasons mentioned before.
First
 of all,
men
 have better jobs and salaries in comparison with
women
.
Women
 are usually in the hunt
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 a job but
men
 have a better position in the job market, and they have privileges over
women
.
For instance
,
a
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apply
show examples
recent research shows that companies are looking for
men
 rather
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
that
Correct your spelling
than
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women
 since they think that
women
 are not capable of
finish
Wrong verb form
finishing
show examples
 their
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
 on time and they do not have good leadership skills to
acomplish
Correct your spelling
accomplish
 what the company requires.
Secondly
, the protests of
women
 that request the same
rights
 as
men
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 evident.
Women
has
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have
show examples
 been misvalued in their jobs by
men
; they do not treat
women
 with the
rights
, so
women
 come to the streets to protest.
This
 is noticed during the
70's
Fix apostrophe usage
'70s
show examples
 when a crowd of
women
 came out of their houses to protect
for
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apply
show examples
their
rights
 and
recieve
Correct your spelling
receive
 a better salary since they
where
Replace the word
were
show examples
 exploited by corporations. In conclusion,
women
 in
Correct your spelling
today's
todays
Change to a genitive case
today's
show examples
 world
have
Add a missing verb
do have
show examples
 not the same
rights
 as
men
 since companies provide
with
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apply
show examples
lucrative and
high level
Add a hyphen
high-level
show examples
 jobs for
men
, and more
women
 come to the streets to protest to
adquire
Correct your spelling
acquire
 the same
rights
 as
men
.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender equality
  • historical context
  • gender pay gap
  • underrepresentation
  • leadership roles
  • gender-based violence
  • educational opportunities
  • workforce
  • legal reforms
  • statistics
  • case studies
  • global perspective
  • progressive changes
  • cultural differences
  • empowerment
  • patriarchy
  • systemic discrimination
What to do next:
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