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Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #levels #sugar #health #people
Arguably, it is commented that
products
 containing
sugar
 should be
selling
Wrong verb form
sold
show examples
 at
a higher prices
Correct the article-noun agreement
a higher price
higher prices
show examples
 to promote less
sugar
consumption
. I completely agree with
this
 view and think that one way to encourage society to consume less
sugar
 is by making sugary
products
 expensive.
First
 and foremost,
sugar
 can damage our teeth. To elaborate, high
consumption
 of
sugar
 can cause our teeth to rot and eventually blacken. If left untreated, the teeth will become dirty and spread bacteria all over our
mouth
Fix the agreement mistake
mouths
show examples
. It is
then
 will lead to far dangerous diseases. On top of that, it will
also
 ruin our looks when we smile.
Thus
,
this
 is why it is important to not consume too many sugary
products
.
Secondly
, sugary
products
 make people fatter. Fatness can lead to blocked blood circulation. Circulation which is blocked by fat will tighten the blood flow and can cause a heart attack.
The heart
Correct article usage
Heart
show examples
 attacks happen very sudden and can cause death. It can be saved but the patients have to have fast access to the hospitals.
This
 is why nowadays many people die because of
a heart attacks
Correct the article-noun agreement
a heart attack
heart attacks
show examples
.
Hence
, in order to prevent more death caused by that deadly diseases, it is better to reduce the
consumption
 of sugary foods at once. To wrap up, I agree to sell sugary
products
 more expensive. Large
consumption
 of sugary
products
 tends to lead to toothache and even death.
That is
 why it is important for society to eat more healthy foods. It is okay to eat
sugar
 but to
consumes
Wrong verb form
consume
show examples
 it in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
everyday meals it's just too much.
Submitted by miarosmia8 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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