IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people get into debt by buying things they don’t need and can’t afford. What are the reasons for this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #debt #don’t #can’t #behaviour #action
It is undeniable that more and more
people
 are getting into endless pits of debt as they buy items of unimportance and out of their affordability. There are several reasons for
this
 alarming trend and various steps can be taken to mitigate
this
 problem. There are various causes behind
this
 trend. The main reason is the increased convenience of shopping nowadays. It has become much easier to apply for credit cards than it was before as banks and credit card companies are competing with each other to gain more customers.
In addition
, the prevalence of shopping apps and websites has enabled
people
 to buy things at the tip of their hands without giving much thought and energy. The
second
 reason is the risen power of advertising. As the trends of advertising have shifted towards affiliated adverts by influencers on social media, more and more youngsters and adults are feeling pressured to fit into a specific materialistic lifestyle. For these reasons,
people
 are purchasing useless and expensive items out of convenience and peer pressure.
However
, lots of measures can be taken to solve
this
 problem. The most effective step would be to spread awareness about the consequences of a materialistic lifestyle. If more
people
 were knowledgeable about how much the environment is damaged by their purchases
such
 as the enormous pile of waste, the pollution caused by the over-production of materials,
then
 they might put in more thought before buying products. The
second
 step that could be taken is to restrict access to credit cards as the absence of money or card to buy things will physically stop
people
 to purchase unnecessary things. In conclusion, while there are various factors contributing to the trend of shopping for inconvenient materials without being able to afford them, a quite handful of actions can be done to prevent
this
.
Submitted by hmtnetflix on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: