The use of violence in music lyrics, video games and films seen by children is causing concern in many societies. What problems may be caused by this type of violent imagery, and what steps could be taken to lessen the impact on young people?

The use of violence in music lyrics, video
games
and films seen by
children
ultimately
take
Correct subject-verb agreement
takes
show examples
a serious toll on them and their families in various ways. We will discuss the most serious problems arising, and
also
two ways in which the situation can be improved. Arguably the gravest problem caused by crime content is
children
's mental health
problem
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problems
show examples
. When a
children
Change the noun form
child
show examples
is watching
such
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
long term, and thinking about it all the time, the ability to normal thinking is severely curtailed.
This
also
can lead to physical exhaustion, which eventually
undermine
Change the verb form
undermines
show examples
the
children
’s
overall
wellbeing. A
further
serious impact is
children
are good at learning what they see,
hence
, the abuse and cruelty they see
while
playing video
games
would be captured in an immature brain,
moreover
, those
Youngers
Correct your spelling
youngsters
show examples
sometimes possibly try to simulate a robbery or burglary.
This
destroys relationships between
children
, parents and others. To counteract these dangers first remedy
ought
Correct pronoun usage
that ought
show examples
to be taken is curbing cruel content in mass products with government policies.
In addition
, the second possibility to lessen the impact on
children
is cautious parenting. In modern, various
kind
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kinds
show examples
of child-control systems for TV and internet access are available,
in addition
, being aware of what their
children
like to watch and play, parents can suggest them more suitable
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
and
games
. In conclusion, a lot of concern about the young
observed
Add a missing verb
is observed
show examples
due to
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
show examples
of violence in
such
matters as music, movies, and video
games
. The issues of it seem to be
teenager’s
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers’
show examples
mental health reduction and increasing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
crime
number
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numbers
show examples
,
however
,
this
could be solved with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
state control and family
member’s
Fix the agreement mistake
members’
show examples
attention.
Submitted by alexstudyin on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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