Some people think that current environmental issues are global problems and should therefore be dealt with by the government while others believe that these problems can only be tackled by individuals. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #government #individuals

Improving

people

health

vital

Add an article

a vital

show examples

concern for both

government

and individuals.

Although

there are many

people

who think building more and more public healthcare by

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

can be a prominent way to taking

cares

Fix the agreement mistake

care

show examples

of peoples

health

;

however

,I personally think that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

eating fresh food and daily exercise is the best way to be healthier. On one hand,

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

can allocate money to building hospitals to ensure

people

’s

health

People

are dying due to

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of medical services in many underdeveloped countries. So if

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

built public

health

care

peoples

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

can easily get any kind of medical services.

As a result

people

will not die for lack of medical services.

Moreover

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

also

can arrange free medical

camp

Fix the agreement mistake

camps

show examples

to aware

people

about how to be healthy, and

also

can give free medical

checkup

Fix the agreement mistake

checkups

show examples

as well as

frer

Correct your spelling

free

for

medicine. To sum up,

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

role is wide when it

is comes

Change the verb form

comes

show examples

to public

health

. To take care of citizen

health

making

hospital

Fix the agreement mistake

hospitals

show examples

, free medical camp is a good initiative for

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

On the other hand

, individuals can take care of their own

health

by doing

many

Correct your spelling

any

show examples

kind

Change to a plural noun

kinds

show examples

of activities.

Firstly

, they can do daily exercise, and

this

will keep them fit;

as a result

,they won't get sick.

Secondly

, there

are

Change the verb form

show examples

wider choice availability of fresh food in the market

instead

of taking fast food they can choose those. It will definitely help them to

Change the word

apply

show examples

healthier. So, I can say, if we not

Correct your spelling

too

show examples

sick so we do not need to go

hospitals

Change preposition

to hospitals

show examples

although

their will have some serious issues for we will go for them. To conclude,

although

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

can

takes

Wrong verb form

take

show examples

some steps to make

sure

Add an article

a sure

show examples

healthy life for its citizen,individuals can do more

then

Replace the word

than

show examples

to keep fit by themself to doing activities.

Submitted by hsn.rzb on Tue Jan 18 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

288 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
A larger amount of advertisements nowadays are now targeted at children. Many people say this has negative effects on children and should there be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Commercial advertisements widely increased to promote products. It has helped the public to grossly know about the insight of the items. I disagree with the argument that the majority of posters recently focusing children who should be restricted which guides them to get negative thoughts. Despite the notice of profit it helps to create the awareness of cleanliness and enhance creativity.
9
band
Some people believe that modern technology is increasing the gap between rich and poor, while others disagree and say that it is helping reduce the gap. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Some people believe that technological advancements are increasing the income gap among social classes, while others argue that they enable access to higher-quality products, savings, and improved well-being. From my perspective, I firmly agree with the latter statement.
5.5
band
Professional sports people are often idolised by young children. Some people think that they therefore have a responsibility to be good role models at all times for children. Do you agree or disagree?
Generally speaking, sports coaches have a positive impact on individuals. Specifically, they tend to be popular among young children. It is suggested that professional sports people should consistently act as children’s good role models, which is a part of career responsibility. This essay will strongly agree with this claim, justified by several reasons.
6.5
band
In today’s competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents to go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents’ absence.What are your opinions?
In contemporary society, with the rise in the cost of living and increased competition, both parents must work to earn more money. The question of whether this brings more advantages for children has become a matter of considerable debate. Although some argue that this situation causes parents to not have enough time to spend with their children, I believe this choice is more beneficial for them.
4
band
Diet, not exercise, is the most important element in maintaining one’s health. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Use details and reasons to support your point of view.
Eating right, not working out is the greatest key to living a healty life. In my Opinion, I agree based on the fact that, what people consume is a reflector of how young or haggard they look.

Some people think that current environmental issues are global problems and should therefore be dealt with by the government while others believe that these problems can only be tackled by individuals. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

A larger amount of advertisements nowadays are now targeted at children. Many people say this has negative effects on children and should there be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that modern technology is increasing the gap between rich and poor, while others disagree and say that it is helping reduce the gap. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Professional sports people are often idolised by young children. Some people think that they therefore have a responsibility to be good role models at all times for children. Do you agree or disagree?

In today’s competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents to go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents’ absence.What are your opinions?

Diet, not exercise, is the most important element in maintaining one’s health. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Use details and reasons to support your point of view.