IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Discuss advantages and disadvantages of using on-demand streaming services.

#on-demand #services
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In
this
 era of technology, various innovations have been introduced in every sphere of life. The same goes for the modes of streaming
services
 that have
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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evolved magnificently. In the past few years, the use of
on-demand
 streaming
services
 like
Netflix
 and Hulu have been increased. The users of
such
services
 are increasing exponentially with every passing year. There are numerous advantages and disadvantages of using
on-demand
services
 that I’ll discuss in
this
 essay. One of the core advantages of subscribing to
on-demand
 streaming
services
 is an Ad-free source of entertainment.
For example
, All the premium users of
Netflix
 enjoy their respective shows without any unnecessary
Ad-breaks
Correct your spelling
ad breaks
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.
In addition
 to
this
,
on-demand
 streaming
services
 enlist data in a categorized way. There are various sections with labelling that facilitate the users to search their desired shows in a smooth manner.
Furthermore
, the video quality of
data
Correct article usage
the data
show examples
 is marvellous. There is no disruption or fall of pixels
while
 streaming.
On the other hand
, there are some disadvantages
too
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apply
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that are associated with
on-demand
 streaming
services
. Unavailability or late up-gradation of the content is a vital one.
For example
, the evergreen fiction movie series “Harry Potter” is still unavailable on
Netflix
. In the same way, one of the greatest laughter series “Friends” was added by
Netflix
 a year later on the demand of the viewers. In conclusion,
on-demand
 streaming
services
 have several advantages and disadvantages.
However
, if a person is an entertainment lover and wants to enjoy HD quality shows without any interruption,
on-demand
 streaming
services
 are a blessing for him.
Submitted by mharis083 on

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task response
Task Response: The essay addresses the advantages and disadvantages of on-demand streaming services, but lacks a clear stance. It should clearly state whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages or vice versa.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The logical structure is mostly maintained, with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the examples are not consistently relevant and the essay would benefit from more cohesive linking between ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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