Some people think that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

#people #advertisements #products #lives

To introduce, some people in the society think advertising makes us buy things which we really do not need.

Whereas

some believe placards are means through which new developments can reach people and help them

in enhancing

Wrong verb form

enhance

show examples

their lives. In the below paragraph, we will discuss both

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sides and my balanced view. On one hand,

firstly

, the word commercial itself means stimulating the viewer. It is the impact of advertisement, the current generation has more products with them than the previous generation. It is through finding new ways of announcements,

manufacturers

Correct pronoun usage

that manufacturers

show examples

are reaching more people and making them spend on items they do not need. For,example, compared to goods available at my parent's house, we at our house have more

produces

Correct subject-verb agreement

produce

show examples

, which is an impact of increased advertisement in society. And most of the items are not used, like interior lights, fancy bulbs and others.

Therefore

it increased our unnecessary expenses.

On the other hand

, mainly, It is through publicity,

sellers

Correct pronoun usage

that sellers

show examples

can educate their prospective buyers about the new development. By doing publicity produce creators are giving details and benefits of output and it is the only way, for them to reach their end-users. Advertisers are not forcing anyone, just providing details of their labour,

furthermore

, it is the choice of the individual to buy a brand or not.

For instance

, I like exhibits on electronic gadgets since they help me in educating about products. I

brought

Correct your spelling

bought

show examples

a laptop and mobile after looking at messages on

youtube

Correct your spelling

YouTube

show examples

As a result

of the details provided by messages, I was able to purchase the right product and fulfil my

requirement

Fix the agreement mistake

requirements

show examples

To conclude

, in my opinion, advertisements are an essential part of society to know about new products. Just that there should be a balanced approach. They should be speaking and explaining about the product, rather than stimulating a purchase. Adverts should be bound by the rules of local authorities, who should clearly define boundaries and strictly control them.,

Moreover

each product should only use one channel of publicity and not all.

Submitted by manju.645 on Wed Jan 19 2022

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Task Response

Ensure a clear and specific thesis statement that directly addresses the prompt. Use topic sentences to introduce each body paragraph and provide a clear concluding statement that summarizes the main points.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use a wider variety of transition words and phrases to improve coherence and cohesion. Ensure that each paragraph follows a logical sequence and that ideas are linked effectively.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

339 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

encourage
persuade
manipulative
unnecessary
excessive
artificial needs
desires
consumers
oversaturation
impulse buying
financial problems
inform
educate
features
benefits
innovations
raise awareness
social issues
positive behavior
enrich
well-being

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Some people think that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play video games. What are the positive and negative impacts of playing video games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects?

Several individuals expand most of their life alive near where they were born. What might be the cause of th is? What are the advantages and downsides?

The Impact of Technology on Education and Learning

Some people think that everyone has the right to have access to university education, and that governments should make it free for all students no matter what financial background they have. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Art classes, such as drawing and painting, are as important to a child’s development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high school. To what extent do you agree or disagree.