IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or disadvantages?

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation
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Many employees tend to work extended hours because of which they do not have sufficient time for leisure activities.
However
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, in my opinion, neglecting outdoor fun has more drawbacks,
such
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 as depression and weak physical fitness, as compared to benefits.
However
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, there are many disadvantages to not having
a
Correct article usage
apply
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personal time, the most prominent problem is depression. A human being in a constant working condition ultimately suffers from anxiety.
For instance
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, it is quite evident that people, predominantly from the Finance Department, are more likely to experience severe stress because of working overtime, and companies largely depend on accountants and finance staff for effective decision making.
Consequently
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, they receive a lot of pressure throughout the year,
therefore
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, constant late sittings and functioning of brains eventually result in poor mental health at a later stage. Another drawback is poor physical fitness because peers who constantly overlook a daily workout lose
body
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 strength with the passage of time.
Additionally
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, sitting in the same posture for long periods leads to a de-shaped
body
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.
For example
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, overtime workers usually complain about backbone problems and their outward tummy.
Furthermore
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, our
body
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 requires exercise in order to build more stamina.
Therefore
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, recreational activities keep us both physically and mentally strong. In conclusion,
however
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, there are a few benefits to working overnight
such
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 as opportunities for promotion and recognition, but they all come at the price of an unsound
body
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. In my overall opinion, there are more demerits, including depression and weak stamina, that overcome the positive effects of working long hours.
Submitted by parvezshehzeen on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • stress relief
  • productivity
  • economic growth
  • career progression
  • skill enhancement
  • quality time
  • financial security
  • leisure activities
  • physical health
  • personal relationships
  • stress-related illnesses
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