Some believe it is important for cities and towns to invest heavily in building large outdoor public spaces. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
urban designers plead that cities need more outdoor public facilities
such
as parks, others refute this
claim asserting that urban places need more essential infrastructure like hospitals. I personally agree with the latter statement. This
essay will discuss both views and explain why towns got to be endowed with more health infrastructure.
First and foremost, no one can deny that outdoor public spaces can have a tremendous positive impact on the morale of citizens. It is acknowledged by everyone that our modern towns are made of greyish buildings with no charm, parks can represent a turn over
to Correct your spelling
turnover
this
situation. Indeed, they can boost the morale well-being
of citizens and enhance their unity. Correct word choice
and well-being
For example
, a recent survey conducted by urban designers stated that in the cities that contained several public gardens and entertainment facilities, individuals suffered less depression and anxiety compared to the metropolis that does
not contain any.
Wrong verb form
did
On the other hand
, the pandemic humans have witnessed lately proved that our cities suffer a lack of health infrastructure. The government should bend to creating new hospitals and recovery beds in order to overcome this
huge deficit. For instance
, in my ,country the number of hospital beds per inhabitant is ludicrously small. Moreover
, it is the onus of deputies to plan more universities to form more doctors and nurses.
To conclude
, it is crystal clear that parks and entertainment facilities can have a positive impact on the well-being of civilians .However
, there are more primordial infrastructures we should think of creating especially in this
pandemic period.Submitted by filalibabareda on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion. However, your introduction and conclusion could be more developed. In the introduction, provide a clearer thesis statement to indicate your stance. In the conclusion, summarize your main points and restate your opinion. This will help in improving coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
You have addressed both views in the essay, discussing the importance of outdoor public spaces as well as the need for health infrastructure. You have provided examples to support your arguments, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic. However, to improve task response, ensure your thesis statement clearly states your opinion on investing in outdoor public spaces versus health infrastructure. Make sure to connect your examples more explicitly to the main points of each paragraph to enhance relevance.