Some people think that children should obey rules or do what their parents and teachers want them to do. Other people think that children controlled too much cannot deal with problems themselves in adulthood. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #children #rules #parents #teachers #adulthood

People believe that young ones need to listen

the

Change preposition

to the

show examples

rules and regulations of their elders and teachers desire to be. While others say that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

children

needs

Change the verb form

need

show examples

Remove the article

apply

show examples

independence and self-control in solving problems,I agree. In

this

essay, I will discuss both sides and give

necessary

Correct article usage

the necessary

show examples

opinion. On the one hand,parents who are not controlled too much and give them

choice

Add an article

the choice

a choice

show examples

of choosing alternatives have more outcomes, because they can resolve the problems and issues easily.

Secondly

this

results in

less

Correct quantifier usage

fewer

show examples

behavioral

Change the spelling

behavioural

show examples

and psychological impacts which are cognitive and mental abilities. To illustrate

this

,youngsters are quick in

decision-making

Add an article

the decision-making

show examples

process and analysing

Change preposition

apply

show examples

future plans in education and jobs.

On the other hand

, caregivers who control their

children

have some drawbacks in problem-solving and doing independent work in the future because of

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of motivation.

For instance

, a child needs

Change the article

show examples

initiation to develop skills,

such

a building blocks

Correct the article-noun agreement

building blocks

a building block

show examples

or solving a puzzle.

Furthermore

,controlling too much can impact

Change preposition

apply

show examples

behavioural issues.

Secondly

,Young

children

need to build

Remove the article

apply

show examples

confidence and self-esteem,

this

helps them to gain

Remove the article

apply

show examples

confidence and positive behaviour.

Such

Correct quantifier usage

Such

show examples

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

poor concentration

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

anxiety,depression.

Moreover

this

can be avoided by using

developmental

Change the adjective

developmentally

show examples

appropriate activities which are used as

curriculum based

Add a hyphen

curriculum-based

show examples

learning.

Lastly

,too

much

Change the quantifier

many

show examples

controlled kids have some drawbacks when they grow

Change preposition

show examples

later

ages

Fix the agreement mistake

age

show examples

. To illustrate

this

, individuals can face negative outcomes to deal

situations

Change preposition

with situations

show examples

in and around

community

Add an article

the community

show examples

because of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

too much dependency.

For example

,folks have fear of implementing work that can result to get anger and frustrations of results. To conclude,teachers and caregivers who keep expecting that their

children

need to listen and apply in practical life can have some problems in later life. Whereas,people who are living decisions for their child have better future expectancy.

Submitted by ar050682 on Fri Jan 21 2022

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

286 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that children should obey rules or do what their parents and teachers want them to do. Other people think that children controlled too much cannot deal with problems themselves in adulthood. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

On one hand, nuclear power provides cheap and clean energy. On the other hand, nuclear weapons are a potent threat to world peace. Do the benefits of nuclear technology outweigh the risks? Give your opinion and support it with reasons.

With the rise of e-books comes the decline in paper books. Some people see this as a good step forward while others do not. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

The widespread use of the Internet has brought many problems. What do you think are the main problems associated with the use of the Internet? What solutions can you suggest?

Countries should produce enough food for their own population and import as little as possible. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some businesses prohibit smoking in any of their offices. Some governments have banned smoking in all public places. Do you agree or disagree that this is the right course of action? Give reasons for your opinion.