Some people think that children should obey rules or do what their parents and teachers want them to do. Other people think that children controlled too much cannot deal with problems themselves in adulthood. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #children #rules #parents #teachers #adulthood

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People believe that young ones need to listen

the

Change preposition

to the

show examples

rules and regulations of their elders and teachers desire to be. While others say that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

children

Use synonyms

needs

Change the verb form

need

show examples

Remove the article

apply

show examples

independence and self-control in solving problems,I agree. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will discuss both sides and give

necessary

Correct article usage

the necessary

show examples

opinion. On the one hand,parents who are not controlled too much and give them

choice

Add an article

the choice

a choice

show examples

of choosing alternatives have more outcomes, because they can resolve the problems and issues easily.

Secondly

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

results in

less

Correct quantifier usage

fewer

show examples

behavioral

Change the spelling

behavioural

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and psychological impacts which are cognitive and mental abilities. To illustrate

this

Linking Words

,youngsters are quick in

decision-making

Add an article

the decision-making

show examples

process and analysing

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apply

show examples

future plans in education and jobs.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, caregivers who control their

children

Use synonyms

have some drawbacks in problem-solving and doing independent work in the future because of

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of motivation.

For instance

Linking Words

, a child needs

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show examples

initiation to develop skills,

such

Linking Words

a building blocks

Correct the article-noun agreement

building blocks

a building block

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or solving a puzzle.

Furthermore

Linking Words

,controlling too much can impact

Change preposition

apply

show examples

behavioural issues.

Secondly

Linking Words

,Young

children

Use synonyms

need to build

Remove the article

apply

show examples

confidence and self-esteem,

this

Linking Words

helps them to gain

Remove the article

apply

show examples

confidence and positive behaviour.

Linking Words

Such

Correct quantifier usage

Such

show examples

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

poor concentration

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

anxiety,depression.

Moreover

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this

Linking Words

can be avoided by using

developmental

Change the adjective

developmentally

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appropriate activities which are used as

curriculum based

Add a hyphen

curriculum-based

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learning.

Lastly

Linking Words

,too

much

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many

show examples

controlled kids have some drawbacks when they grow

Change preposition

show examples

later

ages

Fix the agreement mistake

age

show examples

. To illustrate

this

Linking Words

, individuals can face negative outcomes to deal

situations

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with situations

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in and around

community

Add an article

the community

show examples

because of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

too much dependency.

For example

Linking Words

,folks have fear of implementing work that can result to get anger and frustrations of results. To conclude,teachers and caregivers who keep expecting that their

children

Use synonyms

need to listen and apply in practical life can have some problems in later life. Whereas,people who are living decisions for their child have better future expectancy.

Submitted by ar050682 on Fri Jan 21 2022

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

286 words

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Some people think that children should obey rules or do what their parents and teachers want them to do. Other people think that children controlled too much cannot deal with problems themselves in adulthood. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Topic: In many countries around the world rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

As the world becomes technologically advanced,computers are replacing people at more and more jobs. what are some job positions that may be lost because of computers?What are some problems that may result from this situation?

In some countries, secondary schools aim to provide a general education across a range of subjects. In others, children focus on a narrow range of subjects related to a particular career. Which do you think is appropriate in today’s world?

Nowadays, many people have to work longer time, and they feel more stressful than before. What are the reasons? What can employers do to make their life easier?