IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many elderly people are no long looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing homes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

#people #families #care #homes #trend
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Despite
the a
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the
a
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 number of individuals are
the
Correct article usage
apply
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old, their relatives do not take responsibility for looking after them, occasionally they utilize from
nursing
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a nursing
the nursing
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home
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homes
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 or
care
 homes. In my
opinion
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,opinion
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 it has as
advantageous
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advantages
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 as sides
such
 as,
special
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the special
a special
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specialist
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specialists
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 should take
care
 them, the old can
life
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live
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 in perfect life
standarts
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standards
 there are some drawbacks to be taken into account. On the one hand, the central
behind
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reason
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the reason
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 for the
first
 disadvantage is the old are unable to spend time with their family when they are in
care
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a care
the care
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 home or far
away
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fromaway
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 other places.
Furthermore
, it can be
influences
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influence
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on
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apply
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their mental health because they stay away
on
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from
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own
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their own
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 memories and their family. More preciously, I consider that they expect more respect from their close relatives while increasing ages.
On the other hand
, each
of
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apply
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governments
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government
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 tries to provide great opportunities for elderly
people
 due to they have established
a
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apply
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safe and modern nursing home.
Firstly
,
i
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I
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 reckon that they should become more comfortable because nurses are able to keep them under control, as well as ought to determine their medicine time if they need it. As a
consequences
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consequence
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, while
people
increasing
Wrong verb form
increase
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 their ages, they need to more
care
 than earlier time.
Secondly
, when they habitats in here should create new friendships with their peers so it helps to provide great communication for them.
Hence
, as investigation of Baku State University when
the
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apply
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elderly
people
 make communication with their peers they feel better than. In conclusion,
i
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I
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 believe that a number of elderly individuals are glad while requiring more
Fix the agreement mistake
attention
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attentions
Correct your spelling
attention
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 and vicinity from family. If
majority
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the majority
a majority
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 of
people
 should look after them, some things will be ok for our society.
Submitted by abbasoveli on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Professional care
  • Medical attention
  • Trained staff
  • Social interaction
  • Combat loneliness
  • Safety and security
  • Relief for families
  • Loss of autonomy
  • Emotional impact
  • Cost
  • Financial strain
  • Quality of care
  • Neglect and abuse
  • Detachment from family
  • Mental wellbeing
What to do next:
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