IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some time countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In some western ,countries youngsters prefer to work or travel for a year or so and
then
Linking Words
 begin their university or college studies after finishing their secondary school, there are many advantages and disadvantages
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
 topic.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the upper hand for travelling or earning at an early age or after finishing high school are many,
for instance
Linking Words
, earning higher salaries at a young age enables them to make intelligent investments decisions from their early career, so when you start early, you are able to enjoy financial independence and security and many more.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, travelling can
also
Linking Words
benefits
Change the verb form
benefit
show examples
 them by, learning how to save money, adjust budgets, become independent and responsible, have problem-solving skills etc.
However
Linking Words
, there are many drawbacks too, like, language barrier, abroad can be expensive while moving or roaming in countries etc. Sometimes being irresponsible and use up all the salary rather than saving them. It could
also
Linking Words
 influence other children of their age. In conclusion, there are more advantages of earning cash, working and travelling than disadvantages, you just need to use your time and wage more productively and responsibly.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: