IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

In Some countires young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.Discuss the advanatges and dis advantages for young people whodecide to do this

#countires #people #work #travel #year #school #university #studies #advanatges #dis #whodecide
Many countries motivate juveniles to explore through real-life experiences.For that ,reason young people are advised to do some work or sometimes to travel before starting their university life.A major portion of the community considers
this
 activity in a positive manner
on the other hand
 side some crowd treats these as a negative thought. In
this
 essay,I would like to brief on both advantages and disadvantages of
this
 phenomenon. Generally,Youth always understand things through real-life experiences,they do not give much attention to others advice.
Therefore
 giving these peer groups a chance to learn new things from real life will be a better method,
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
 it encourages them to analyze the financial expenses.
Hence
 making the adolescent group work or explore different places will eventually be an added advantage for their interpersonal skills.
However
,on the other ,hand side young people who started working at
this
 early stage of life may face lots of dangerous scenarios.Having lots of money may make teenagers overconfident and that will force them to break their studies .As well as these peer groups may fall into anti-social activities without knowing their consequences and will end up their lives in prison sometimes. To Summarise,promoting young people to earn or to travel before starting their college is good to some extent,at the same time some of them may get misused due to the unnecessary freedom that got in the early stage.
Submitted by amitha13489 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: