chools are spending more time teaching traditional subjects such as history. Some people think they should rather spend more time in teaching skills that can help students find a job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Computers
are becoming an essential part of
education
. Every student in schools and universities use computer for learning a new
information
, search answers at their questions about
topic
that they do not really understand and just do homework online in text editor like MC Word.
Next,
I will say about advantages and disadvantages about
computers
like part of
education
. So, let’s get started with advantages. Like I’m saying earlier, every student use computer for the
information
that they interested in. Internet has most of all
information
that you need, rarely you
can’t
find the desired
information
.
Also
, it is very convenient for study subjects.
For example
: you are a school student and you
don’t
understand
topic
in math. Your teacher tries to explain you
this
topic
, but you again
don’t
understand. Teacher explains very hard for you, so at home you decide to watch videos about
this
topic
, which explain other teacher with easier words and easier examples. Only
then
you understood
topic
. It is cool, isn’t it? You
also
can prepare for exams with online
teachers
, that will greatly facilitate the work. And you
don’t
need to go somewhere, because you study online!
Computers
in
education
is very convenient. But every thing has disadvantages.
First,
students
can write the answers and
don’t
try to understand why person answered like that. Thoughtlessly write off. Many of
students
think: “Why I need to teach these topics or subjects, if I can just search
information
on the internet? It is easier and I do not need to remember a lot of unnecessary
information
” and
this
thought is not right. You need to learn subjects, because they improve your memory, logic, mental abilities and you just become erudite. Your knowledge should not end with just one thing, you
don’t
really know when your knowledge about “unnecessary” subject or
topic
will be needed. What if it decides something,
for example
will people accept you or not? Will you save a person’s life or not? So, you
don’t
need just chose, what
topic
is necessary for you and what unnecessary. Especially at university. Most of knowledge there will be useful in the future. You are not just learning it for fun,
teachers
are not teaching you these topics for fun, right? In my opinion,
education
should not exclude
computers
and the internet in general. It gives so many useful
information
, so many clear examples and explaining, which
teachers
not always can give
students
. Study online is very convenient not only for
students
, but and for
teachers
, because you
don’t
need to wake up very early, you
can’t
forget something, because
this
thing near to you and you have comfort conditions. Of course,
then
some people will be lazy and do nothing, but later they
can’t
to pass exams and
don’t
know anything. They decide to be like they are and we can not do something for solve
this
problem. Some people
don’t
have motivation whatever you tried. It is sad, but you
can’t
do anything with it. So, as for me,
computers
in
education
are very important, just because they make many things easier, starting with small answers and ending with sources to your big works for university.
Submitted by dulskywork on

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Introduction & Conclusion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion, which are essential for establishing context and summarizing your position on the topic. Consider adding an opening paragraph that introduces the topic and a closing paragraph that reinforces your viewpoint.
Task Response
Your position on the prompt is not clear throughout the essay. To improve, directly answer the question and maintain a consistent line of argument. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and relates back to the original prompt.
Logical Structure
Work on improving the overall logical structure by organizing your essay into clear paragraphs, each with a specific main point that is developed and supported by specific examples or arguments.
Coherence
Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. Avoid abrupt transitions by employing linking words and phrases that will guide the reader through your ideas.
Supporting Examples
Support your main points with clear and relevant examples or explanations. Providing specific examples will strengthen your argument and demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural heritage
  • Job-oriented skills
  • Evolution of job market
  • Well-rounded education
  • Critical thinking
  • Societal changes
  • Economic demands
  • Technological advancements
  • Immediate employment
  • Integrating technology
  • Undervaluing history
  • National identity
  • Transferable skills
  • Research
  • Analysis
  • Contextual understanding
What to do next:
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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