In some Vinhomes areas, fast food, prepared meals, and sugary drinks are now sold in more shops and at lower prices than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#vinhomes #areas #food #meals #drinks #shops #prices #development

In some

Vinhomes

quarters, fast

food

and sugary

drinks

are now much easier to buy with lower prices than that few years ago.

This

brings about many advantages to

Vinhomes

population.

However

, disadvantages

are

Change to the active voice

also exist

have also existed

show examples

also

existed.

Firstly

, to say about advantages.

Vinhomes

habitants

Correct your spelling

habitats

show examples

will be easier to get their needs. Fast

food

, prepared meals are the most common

kind

food

that contain enough nutrients for

people

requiments

Correct your spelling

requirements

. It will take shorter or no time to prepare. So we can say in short " it is in touch" to everyone in the areas. The following reason, as it is said

that is

much cheaper than in the past. The reason sounds very reasonable to most

people

, not only to

Vinhomes

population. The

habitants

will

spent

Change the verb form

spend

show examples

less money on their

food

, they can save some more money

Change preposition

for

show examples

others needs.

However

, fast

food

and

drinks

also

creates

Change the verb form

create

show examples

many disadvantages not only the

Vinhomes

habitants

Correct your spelling

habitats

show examples

but

also

other

Change preposition

for other

show examples

people

Firstly

, we all know that areas, fast

food

, prepared meals, and sugary

drinks

contains

Change the verb form

contain

show examples

a large amount of saturated fat which may be converted to cholesterol during metabolism inside our body,

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

may lead to various

kind

of heart diseases.

Secondly

, they

also

contain some

kind

of harmful substances

such

as oxidants and free roots that can metabolise to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cancers-induced substances . We are all clear that cardiovascular diseases and cancers are the two leading causes of

Add an article

the dead

show examples

dead

Replace the word

death

show examples

for human beings. The

last

, all

people

' needs for foods and

drinks

(

Vinhomes

people

), which is so easy to get, may cause

people

Add the particle

to be

show examples

lasier

Correct your spelling

easier

. They don't want to go out for other social

relation

Fix the agreement mistake

relations

show examples

, they don't want to create more jobs, more

oppotunities

Correct your spelling

opportunities

, they just want to stay at home, playing games, watching television, and ordering

food

and

drinks

through the delivery systems (

for example

Grab

food

..) to bring about. In conclusion, in

Vinhomes

areas as well as other new population quarters, there are many

kind

Change to a plural noun

kinds

show examples

of fast

food

and sugary

drinks

are now sold with cheaper prices may harm the

habitants's

Remove the s

habitants'

show examples

life.

Submitted by nhudinhngocanh on Mon Jan 24 2022

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

340 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some Vinhomes areas, fast food, prepared meals, and sugary drinks are now sold in more shops and at lower prices than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Since the 18th century technological advances have replaced people in the workplace. With today's technology this process is happening at a greater rate. Technology is increasingly responsible for unemployment. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Topic: Many children and students are taught to push themselves to be better than others rather than work together for everyones’s benefits. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that the government should establish free libraries in each town. Others, however, believe that it is a waste of money since the public can use the Internet at home to obtain information. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting a university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.