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Band 6

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views, and give your opinion.

#people #university #college #route #career #job #school
People argue that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 to
gain
 a successful
career
, learning at
university
 or
college
 is inevitable.
In contrast
, other people believe that receiving a job after finishing study at
school
 might be more approachable. From my perspective, I believe both higher education and employment after
school
 can lead to different
career
 paths to achieve
success
. I will discuss the higher education and job prospects below to support my point of view. To
gain
 a successful
career
, studying at
university
 and
college
 is the best for the major which is complex and sophisticated
such
 as mathematics, chemistry and physics to achieve
success
. Those majors mainly focus on developing the previous theories or mysterious problems which require a lot of experiments to examine the data to support the potential theories. In
this
 case, studying at
university
 and
college
 could be a huge opportunity to receive guidance from professors and tutors who have achieved academic
success
 in their field allowing them to work as a team to contribute their own intelligence for those problems.
Moreover
, with the funds from those institutions, some expensive equipment for experiment purposes is available to assist those problems to process the outcome. Eventually, there’s are much
likely
Correct quantifier usage
more likely
show examples
 to
gain
 a breakthrough while they choose to
further
 study at
university
 and
college
. To achieve a successful
career
, working after
school
 is appropriate for some majors which rely highly on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
experience
such
 as teacher, translator and commercial management.
School
 can only help to establish a basic framework and provide necessary skills for students to work in those fields after graduation.
However
, a practical experience allows those skills and knowledge to apply in realistic situations,
such
 as human resources management and high efficient teaching methods, to review and develop the basic framework they learn from
school
 and master their skills at the same time. After the gained experience, they are able to help as many people as they can to
gain
 their own
success
. Overall, I believe that studying sophisticated majors at
university
 and
college
 could be an advantage in terms of difficulties, and I
also
 believe that getting a job straight after
school
 is able for students who choose a skilled major to achieve a successful
career
.
Submitted by kevinchiua on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Academic qualifications
  • Specialized skills
  • In-depth knowledge
  • Personal growth
  • Social development
  • Practical experience
  • Financial independence
  • Career progression
  • Professional networking
  • Education
  • Work experience
  • Successful career
  • Personal interests
  • Career goals
  • Decision-making process
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