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Band 5

Some people think that hosting an international sports event is good for the country, while some people think it is bad. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

#people #sports #event #country
Some people are of the opinion that the
countries
 gain a lot of benefits from hosting
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
international
sports
.
However
, some others are opposed to
this
 idea, saying that these events are not good for
host
countries
. While the latter view can be justified for some reason,
but
Correct word choice
apply
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I am more inclined towards the former. I can understand why people support
this
 idea that
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
international
sports
 bring several negative consequences for
host
 nations.
Advocate
Add an article
An advocate
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 of
this
 idea that if any country hosting huge
sport
Change the noun form
sports
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 events can spend the amount of the large of budgets of
country
Add an article
the country
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 to build stadiums and renovate
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
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. If they are several undeveloped
countries
 and overspend government’s finance for these activities, caused serious results
such
 as putting burden finance per each citizen, downside economy or creating national loans.
Instead
Add a comma
,Instead
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 they invest
into
Change preposition
in
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 some difficult issues associated with education, medicine and
transports
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transport
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,
leads
Correct pronoun usage
which leads
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 to improving
living
Correct article usage
the living
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 standards of local citizens.
However
, I would side with those
Correct pronoun usage
who argue
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argue
Change the form of the verb
arguing
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 that it is should celebrate global
sports
 when coming champion
leage
Correct your spelling
league
 season.
This
 is because it
promote
Change the verb form
promotes
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economy
Replace the word
economic
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 growth as well as expand
internation
Correct your spelling
international
cooperative
Replace the word
cooperation
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 with new nations. Increasing the numbers of audiences coming to
host
 nation is mean that consumptions will remarkably rise in ranging from food and drink
sevices
Correct your spelling
services
, tourism to accommodations. From that local’s manufacturers promote increased production to adapt demand of the market.
In addition
, meeting among
countries
are
Add a missing verb
is are
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opportunity
Add an article
an opportunity
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 to bond with
relationship
Add an article
a relationship
the relationship
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 with those who used to
is
Wrong verb form
be
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partnership
Add an article
a partnership
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,
in
Change preposition
on
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 the other
hand
Add a comma
,hand
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 it is an
occasional
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occasion
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to show
Correct article usage
the country’s
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country’s
Change the noun form
countries
country
show examples
 strengthens and potentials to other nation.
This
 may result in enhancing
image
Add an article
the image
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 of
Add an article
the nation
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nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
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 around the world to attract much attention of
visistors
Correct your spelling
visitors
 and foreign
investers
Correct your spelling
investors
. To sum up, my firm conviction is that it is better for
countries
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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host
 international
sports
.
This
 act
an
Add a missing verb
is an
show examples
 incentive for
thriving
Correct article usage
a thriving
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 economy and enlarging global
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
.
Submitted by haovtm14401 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic boost
  • infrastructure
  • national pride
  • cultural showcase
  • inspire a generation
  • temporary boost
  • environmental concerns
  • sustainable planning
  • public funds
  • divert resources
  • tourism influx
  • job opportunities
  • sports development
  • public health
  • construction
  • strategic investment
  • global audience
  • hospitality
  • public services
  • cost-benefit analysis
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