To improve the job prospects,some people want the secondry schools to spend more time teaching communication and business skills and spend less time teaching history.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, there has been increasing debate about the role of secondary
education
in preparing
students
for the workforce. Some argue that schools should allocate more time to teaching
communication
and
business
skills
,
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while
reducing the focus on
subjects
like
history
.
This
essay will explore both perspectives and offer a balanced view on the extent to which I agree or disagree with
this
proposal. On one hand, enhancing
communication
and
business
skills
in secondary
education
can be seen as crucial for improving
job
prospects. In today's rapidly evolving
job
market, employers often prioritize soft
skills
such
as effective
communication
, teamwork, and problem-solving. By integrating these
skills
into the curriculum, schools can better equip
students
with the practical abilities needed in a professional environment.
For instance
,
business
skills
like financial literacy and entrepreneurial thinking are increasingly valuable in a world where
job
roles and industries are constantly changing.
Furthermore
, focusing on practical
skills
could potentially lead to a more adaptable workforce. As technological advancements and globalisation continue to reshape the
job
market,
students
who are adept at navigating
business
environments and communicating effectively may find themselves at a competitive advantage.
This
shift in educational priorities could
also
foster a more entrepreneurial mindset among young people, encouraging innovation and self-employment opportunities.
However
, it is important not to underestimate the value of
subjects
such
as
history
.
History
provides essential insights into the human experience, cultural heritage, and societal development. Understanding historical contexts can foster critical thinking, empathy, and a more comprehensive worldview. These are qualities that complement practical
skills
and contribute to well-rounded individuals.
Additionally
,
history
often helps
students
develop research and analytical
skills
, which are transferable to many fields, including
business
.
Moreover
, a well-rounded
education
that includes a diverse range of
subjects
prepares
students
for a broader spectrum of career options.
While
communication
and
business
skills
are undeniably important, other
subjects
, including
history
, contribute to a more holistic development. An
education
system that emphasizes a balance between practical
skills
and intellectual knowledge can better address the varied needs of
students
and the complexities of the modern world. In conclusion,
while
there is merit in focusing more on
communication
and
business
skills
to improve
job
prospects, it is crucial to maintain a balanced curriculum that
also
values
subjects
like
history
. A comprehensive
education
system should prepare
students
not only for the practical demands of the workforce but
also
for a deeper understanding of the world and their place within it.
Therefore
, I believe that a balanced approach, rather than an exclusive emphasis on any one area, is the most effective way to prepare
students
for future success.
Submitted by bekab1515 on

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task response
To achieve higher marks in task response, ensure that your arguments are even more developed with additional supporting details and examples. This will strengthen your points and provide a more thorough response.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, further improve the flow between paragraphs and within sentences. Use a variety of linking words and phrases to ensure that your essay reads smoothly and logically from one point to the next.
coherence cohesion
The essay features a strong introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the argument and summing up the discussion.
task response
The arguments presented are clear and comprehensive, addressing both sides of the debate with relevant examples and explanations.
coherence cohesion
The essay employs logical structure well, with each paragraph building on the previous one in a coherent manner.
task response
The writing is balanced, considering both the importance of communication and business skills and the value of teaching history.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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