IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The given pie charts illustrate the ordinary costs of living in five different categories

The given pie charts illustrate the ordinary costs of living in five different categories
#costs #five #categories
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given pie charts illustrate the ordinary costs of living in five different categories (housing, transport,
food
Use synonyms
, healthcare,
other
Correct word choice
and other
show examples
goods
Use synonyms
 and services) for two Asian counties. A glance at the pie charts
reveal
Change the verb form
reveals
show examples
 that
life
Replace the word
living
show examples
 expenses related to
food
Use synonyms
, housing,
goods
Use synonyms
 and services have the greatest shares in both countries.
Whereas
Linking Words
, healthcare expenditure comprises an insignificant percentage for Japanese and Malaysian families. The highest costs of living in Japan belong to
goods
Use synonyms
 and
food
Use synonyms
, respectively.
However
Linking Words
, in
Malaysia
Add a comma
,Malaysia
show examples
 more than half of expenditures
relates
Correct subject-verb agreement
relate
show examples
 to housing and
food
Use synonyms
. Interestingly,
housing
Add an article
the housing
show examples
 comprises only 21%
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 Japan.
Goods
Use synonyms
 and services include nearly a
third
Linking Words
 of total expenses in the mentioned countries. It is
also
Linking Words
 interesting to note that
Japanese
Correct article usage
the Japanese
show examples
 tend to spend twice as much as Malaysians on transportation systems.
Similarly
Linking Words
, healthcare expenses in both countries include only a minor proportion; For
Malaysia
Add a comma
,Malaysia
show examples
 it is only 3% and
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
Japan
Add a comma
,Japan
show examples
 the figure is 6%.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words food, goods with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 4 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: