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Band 5

many manufactured food and drink products contain high level off sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #level #sugar #health #people
Many
manufactures
Replace the word
manufacturers
show examples
food
Change preposition
of food
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 and drink
commodity
Fix the agreement mistake
commodities
show examples
 embrace
amount
Correct article usage
the amount
show examples
 of
sugar
ingredient
Fix the agreement mistake
ingredients
show examples
. The result to
people
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
 the health issues that happened a lot. Some
people
 think for motivate individuals to eat less
sugar
, sugary products and
food
 company should be made more high-priced. In my option, I don’t agree that
this
 high
price
strategy
 could be a good way for
people
eat
Fix the infinitive
to eat
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 much less
sugar
 and have meal more
health
Replace the word
healthful
show examples
 nowadays,
Instead
, there should have some healthy
food
 advertising and publicity that focus on
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
.
Firstly
, some
people
 think if
manufactures
Replace the word
manufacturers
show examples
food
 and drink corporate rising the
price
 of
sugar
 ingredient
food
, the demographic would purchase much less sugary products as
less
Correct quantifier usage
little
show examples
 as they can. There are some
people
believe
Correct pronoun usage
who believe
show examples
price
strategy
 could make
people
 who are
adicted
Correct your spelling
addicted
 to
sugar
 can control themselves to have a
health
Replace the word
healthy
show examples
life
.
However
, in my opinion, human has a desire that they love
sweet
Add an article
the sweet
show examples
 taste because it could make dopamine.
Hence
, at the initial stage, maybe
this
 high
price
strategy
 could have
extremely
Add an article
an extremely
show examples
 good effect,
nonetheless
,
people
 would like to pay for the sweet taste
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
earn
Change the verb form
earning
show examples
 more money or
finding
Wrong verb form
find
show examples
 some illegal way for cheaper trade for
sugar
ingredient
Fix the agreement mistake
ingredients
show examples
 eventually.
Secondly
, I think even
people
’s nature make an issue that there is some
difficults
Correct your spelling
difficulty
difficulties
difficult
 for control the
sugar
 consuming, yet, product advertising should advocate a healthy
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
 that
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
people
interest
Change the form of the verb
interested
show examples
 in different
food
 habit.
For example
, in Japan, there are amount of diet and
food
 recipe books
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
teach
Change the verb form
teaching
show examples
people
 to how to have a fancy, tasty and healthy meal. Many
people
 that
appeals
Change the verb form
appeal
show examples
 to
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 beautiful
food
 books
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
attempt to make
meal
Add an article
a meal
show examples
 by themself.
Therefore
, many
people
 can keep a fit body
also
 have a good healthy
life
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
show examples
. To sum up, I think good
food
 advertising and publicity could make
people
 recognize that they have too much
sugar
 in daily
life
 than the high-
price
strategy
. By cooking with themselves, they could have a more healthy
life
 in
further
.
Submitted by littlekongmy on

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  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sugar consumption
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • encourage
  • expensive
  • reduce
  • effectively
  • discourage
  • tight budget
  • purchasing
  • disproportionately
  • lower-income individuals
  • healthier food choices
  • demand
  • regardless
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