IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The pie charts below show the percentage of electricity production by fuel source in France in 1990 and 2010.

The pie charts below show the percentage of electricity production by fuel source in France in 1990 and 2010.
#show #percentage #electricity #production #fuel #source #france
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The two pie charts show the proportion of
electricity
 production which was produced by five types of fuel in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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France during the period
of
Change preposition
between
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 1990 and 2010
also
. In 1990 , the highest
percentage
 of coal,
as well as
 natural gas which had been used for
electricity
, with 28% and the
second
 higher
percent
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per cent
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 of oil,
electricity
, with 28% and the
second
 higher
percent
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per cent
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 of
oil
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the oil
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 had used for it at 22%.
An
Correct article usage
The
show examples
 average proportion of
the
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nuclear
power
 was 17% and the lowest
percentage
 of
the
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hydro
Correct your spelling
hydropower
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power
had
Unnecessary verb
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produced
electricity
, with 6% . In the year 2010, the highest
percentage
 of
the
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nuclear
power
 had been used to produce
electricity
, with 67%. A similar per cent of coal
along with
 oil
had
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13% , and the lowest
percentage
 of
the
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natural gas,
as well as
 hydro
power
,
as well as
Correct your spelling
hydropower power
hydropowerpower
Add the comma(s)
,hydropowerpower
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had
Unnecessary verb
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produced
electricity
, with 4% and 2% , respectively.
Overall
, the higher proportion of natural gas and coal
also
 but in the
second
 period of time, the highest
percentage
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nuclear
power
 in the production of
electricity
 rather than other sources of energy in both years.
Submitted by jagdeepgill09111 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "as well as, also, second".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, percentage, power with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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