IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The government should make laws about people’s nutrition and food choice. Others argue that would be their choice. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#government #laws #people’s #nutrition #food #choice
For the time being, controlling humans’ nutrition and eating habits has never failed to provoke controversial debates among
people
. Some claim that the government should adopt regulations on
this
 issue while others believe it would depend on
people
’s options. I would contend that
although
people
 have
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 freedom to opt for their
food
, the governors need to legitimately manage
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
certain kinds of
food
 chosen. Without a shadow of a doubt,
people
 should be allowed to select their eating diets and nutrition. With a wide range of
food
 currently, each person has a distinct diet to follow based on their health conditions, demands and financial abilities. Having their own choices to apply in their meals can be an optimal way for them to adjust their diets suitable for their hobbies and other aspects.
For instance
, while youngsters have a great preference
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
 junk
food
 because of its alluring taste and convenience, the old, especially those facing digestive diseases may opt for a healthy diet with vegetables and beneficial
food
.
Hence
, it is undeniable that depending on individuals’ situations,
people
 should be free to choose their
food
 choices to meet their own demands.
Although
people
 have the right to choose their
food
, the administrations should intervene in some
food
 by introducing laws. Consuming some meals with materials from some kinds of animals can induce various undesirable consequences directly posing a threat of animals’ extinction.
For instance
, Hoi An is the leading city compromising some rules to ban eating dogs with a view to giving
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prompt action to prevent dogs from illegal trading.
This
 example can be convincing to prove the necessity of putting laws forward to diminish unexpected issues
such
 as treating dogs as dishes in Vietnam. Undoubtedly, the government need to make laws
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
 human’s choices in some
food
. To sum up,
although
people
 should freely opt for their
food
 according to their conditions, with some
food
such
 as dog dishes, the governors should impose rules to restrict human’s eating in order to protect animals from possibly becoming extinct.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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