some people believe that parents should be responsible for encouraging their children to take regular exercise . others argue that the main responsibility for encouraging children to do so should lie with school . Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days because of focusing only on learning at schools and spending too much time on electronic devices so . other people argue that
parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

have to be responsible for encouraging their offspring to take
a regular lessons
Correct the article-noun agreement
regular lessons
a regular lesson

The indefinite article a may not be required with the plural noun lessons in this sentence. Consider removing the article, or changing the noun to singular.

show examples
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

believing that the majority accountability for promotion
heir
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to do so should lie
whit
Correct your spelling
with

The word whit doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
schools.I will discuss both perspectives and give my own idea
To begin
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

with , it is generally believed that
parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

have more opportunities to share time
whit
Correct your spelling
with

The word whit doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
their offspring and teach
their
Correct pronoun usage
them

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
good habits . In many ,cases
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

parents'
Change noun form
parents

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

show examples
consider a
roll
Correct your spelling
role

The word roll doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
module for their
heir
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

if the
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

parents'
Change noun form
parents

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

show examples
do what and
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the kid will
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

repeat Or perform. ,
Linking Words
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase Moreover. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

parents'
Change noun form
parents

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

show examples
have many tools to motivate and encourage their inheritor than the university.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

at home father can tell his youth if the youngster will do physical exercises or participate
a
Change preposition
in a

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
variety of
compilations
Correct your spelling
competitions

The word compilations doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
related to the sport the father will buy a phone or bicycle and others. if the juvenile does not with these requirements
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

parents'
Change noun form
parents

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

show examples
may be punished and may even use force and
hall
Capitalize word
Hall

The word hall should be capitalized in this context.

show examples
has no right to beat
scion
Capitalize word
Scion

The word scion should be capitalized in this context.

show examples
and there is no or it can be said that less opportunity to promote
successor
Correct article usage
a successor

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
. In ,addition every pair of
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

parents'
Change noun form
parents

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

show examples
usually
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has

It seems that the verb have does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
one or two scions which means they can give enough care and attention to their offspring's health
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

it is impossible at a faculty with thousands of students. On the other ,hand not all
parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

' are available to spend too much time with their offspring and have enough knowledge and test for kids. To cite another example if the inheritor wants to play football and he does not know the technique to how to play and she is
that is
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

not an expert but the physical education teachers who teach at the academy know home teaches the
heir
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to play or do exercises correctly. There are no conditions for the beneficiary to do some exercises at home and the department has a gym and tools. ,
Linking Words
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase Furthermore. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
heir
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

usually find it easier to keep discipline at the seminary and sometimes are enthusiastic to take
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks

It seems that task may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
with their friends.
To sum up
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

I firmly believe that
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is both schools' and
parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

' responsibility to encourage offspring to
take
Verb problem
do

There may be a verb use issue here.

show examples
activity regularly because it can give them more motivation and conditions to keep healthy

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction and Conclusion
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and your opinion. Also, make sure to summarize your main points in the conclusion.
Examples
Try to provide more specific and relevant examples to support your arguments. Make sure each example directly relates to the point you are making.
Discussion of Perspectives
You provide a balanced discussion of both perspectives on the topic
Supporting Arguments
Your arguments are supported with reasonable explanations and examples

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: