IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

University should accept the equal number of male and female student in each subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the above statement

#university #student
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In today's modern time, men and
women
 are treated equally. Each
person
 has the
right
 to choose what they want regardless of their
gender
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
for example
 the
topic
 stated above. Should the university accept
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 equal number of male and female
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 in each
subject
? If that specific
subject
 is a
pre-requisite
Correct your spelling
prerequisite
show examples
 in order to graduate,
then
 a student should not be deprived of their
right
 to
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
 in that
subject
 may it be a male or a female. If you come to think of it, the
topic
 is somewhat implicating
gender
 inequality given that it is asking for an opinion. Matters like these should not be a
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of an argument because
this
 puts an imaginary barrier onto something that was already erased in the past,so to speak.The barrier that I am talking about is
gender
 discrimination. Let me put it
this
 way,
For example
, If
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 disregard the main thought of the
topic
 above which is enrolling in a
subject
 and
replcae
Correct your spelling
replace
replaced
 it with something broad like "Should University accept
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 equal number of male and female students?",wouldn't it sound discriminating?now if you go back to the
topic
 which is a little bit more specific than the one I gave, It does not sound
right
. Each
person
 has the
right
 to take up a
subject
 as long as that individual is qualified and has the capacity to pass that
subject
.
Furthermore
, It is the
person
's capability that should be taken into consideration and not the
gender
 or the number of learners that should be used as a basis for being accepted in a certain
subject
. There
a
Add a missing verb
are a
show examples
lot of
gender
eqality
Correct your spelling
equality
 advocacies that were pushed by different groups in order to achieve the equal treatment that they sought
after
Change preposition
apply
show examples
. In the 21st century,professions that were specifically associated
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 men are now
also
 being dominated by
women
.
For instance
, being a
sodier
Correct your spelling
soldier
 or a police officer,
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
used to be a man's job, but nowadays,I could see a lot of female soldiers and lady officers dominating the scene. Do you think they would be in that profession if
gender
 inequality was not eradicated from our society's norms?
On the other hand
, there are
also
 professions that were attributed to
female
Add an article
the female
show examples
gender
 in the history of men.
For example
,
Nursing
Correct article usage
the Nursing
show examples
 profession. In the old times, only
women
 take up nursing because they say that they are caring and their soft nature fits the qualifications which are for
this
 job. Today there
a
Add a missing verb
are a
show examples
lot of male nurses who gives the same type of care that
women
 deliver and sometimes much more than we can expect from a masculine
person
. going back to the statement above, if they applied that policy before,
then
stereo typing
Correct your spelling
stereotyping
show examples
 of professions might still be around. To sum it up, I
beleieve
Correct your spelling
believe
 that quality education should be justly given to any
person
 who is striving to help themselves without looking down on their status,appearance, and most of all their
gender
. If you have what it takes and have
tha
Correct your spelling
a
the
 passion for what you are doing, you should not be
striiped
Correct your spelling
stripped
striped
 of the
previlage
Correct your spelling
privilege
 of choosing whatever
subject
 you want or you need in order to graduate.
Submitted by Monicaallenborrero on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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