IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

More and more businesses as well as individuals are choosing to communicate either professionally or socially using technology rather than being face to face. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of using technology for communicating.

#businesses #individuals #technology #face
In
this
present-society
Correct your spelling
present society
show examples
,
technology
 is more likely to be a
media
Fix the agreement mistake
medium
show examples
 for communicating in both formal and informal conversation rather than being
face
 to
face
.
However
,
this
technology
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 both benefits and drawbacks which we will discuss now. When it comes to
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 advantages of
such
technology
, people nowadays who
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 a long-distance relationship or obligation are more convenient to use
such
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 investment rather than a
face
 to
face
 solution.
Furthermore
, as in
this
 COVID-19 crisis, a
face
 to
face
 conversation is considered to be a risky action,
this
 leads
technology
Change preposition
to technology
show examples
such
 as zoom, google meets, and Microsoft teams to be a more suitable
technology
 to
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 in
this
present-situation
Correct your spelling
present situation
show examples
. As long as COVID-19
continuing
Wrong verb form
continues
show examples
 to spread,
technology
Add an article
the technology
show examples
 of communication is
also
 be
using
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
 in
Correct article usage
the eduction
show examples
eduction
Correct your spelling
education
show examples
 method,
as
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
student
Add an article
a student
the student
show examples
 can join their device in
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 electric meeting room together,
similarly
 to a real classroom at school.
On the other hand
, there are
also
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
drawbacks
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
such
technology
.
for instance
, more useful function it has, high price it
cause
Change the verb form
causes
show examples
. As
technology
Add an article
the technology
show examples
 required an internet connection, not only a cost of devices
such
 as
computer
Correct article usage
a computer
show examples
, notebook or
ipad
Correct your spelling
iPad
pad
 that cost a lot of money, internet network
is
Change the verb form
also has
show examples
also
 have
a monthly charges
Correct the article-noun agreement
a monthly charge
monthly charges
show examples
.
This
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 makes
such
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
who
Change the pronoun
whom
show examples
 their family cannot afford
this
 kind of
outgoings
Fix the agreement mistake
outgoing
show examples
 may not access
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
education like
others student
Fix the agreement mistake
other students
show examples
. In conclusion, communicating
technology
 suit with some group of people due to its advantages and disadvantages.
However
, I believe that if all-position people can be able to access
such
technology
, there will cause a lot more advantages in the future.
Submitted by littlesenile on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Efficiency
  • Convenience
  • Instant messaging
  • Video calls
  • Cost-effectiveness
  • Economical
  • Accessibility
  • Physical barriers
  • Nuanced understanding
  • Impersonal
  • Misunderstandings
  • Reliance
  • Technical failures
  • Vulnerable
  • Security breaches
  • Hacking
  • Data theft
  • Sensitive information
  • Digital communication
  • Face-to-face interactions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: