IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #situation #job #shortage #money #situations
Some public believe that whatever happens in
life
 is good, Whereas some
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
show examples
 do not accept it and fight and work hard to live the way they want to. I personally feel both of them are correct in their own way of thinking but. In the modern ,era I am more supportive towards
people
 who argue in their
life
 and job hard and change the situation.
Firstly
, when citizens of the nation do not get affected by any external decision made by the government or any other
authorities
Fix the agreement mistake
authority
show examples
 it is a sort of peace maintained
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
society
for example
 a few years back when demonetisation happened in India, there were many
people
 for whom it even did not even bother, as a part of
life
 they accepted it and willingly did whatever required to be done. So these kinds of
people
 are happy and take things in a positive way and look forward to anything to happen and they have trained themselves to bear things in
life
 and move on.
Secondly
, some
nationerns
Correct your spelling
nations
 are fighters , they fight for their
life
 they fight for their rights and they do not compromise with their
life
 in order to achieve their goals they might work day and night but change everything which they do not like or they do not want with them . For ,instance if an
athelete
Correct your spelling
athlete
 does not work hard and is happy with a state-level medal he or she can never represent their country in the
olympics
Change the capitalization
Olympics
show examples
 and make the country proud and all the nation proud. So sportsmen or any person if they want to achieve milestones in
life
 they need to come out from their comfort zone and push them hard enough to take a step ahead and reach a dream and once it is achieved they must set mush higher goal. In my opinion ,
people
do
Correct pronoun usage
who do
show examples
 not compromise and heartfully try to reach their goal and go against
teh
Correct your spelling
the
 challenges
are
Correct pronoun usage
that are
show examples
 more worth and useful to their family and the country for overall development.
Submitted by koushvenkat on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
What to do next:
Look at other essays: