Many families move to different countries. Some people think children can benefit from this, while others consider it is hard for children if families move to a foreign country. Discuss both views and your opinion.
In
this
contemporary epoch, migrating from any country
to a well-developed country
is very common. However
, there has been a controversy among people regarding peoples'
migration from one Change noun form
people's
country
to another; numerous people believe that their
next generation can acquire a better lifestyle, Change the word
the
while
others think it will be difficult for the children
to cope with the foreign environment. In my perspective, not only children
but also
the whole family can lead a prosperous life
in future,
if they migrate to any Remove the comma
apply
well developed
and peaceful Add a hyphen
well-developed
country
.
On the one hand, humans always want betterment in their life
, and Fix the agreement mistake
lives
therefore
they work hard to foster their economic status and value of life
. Even if they have no such
opportunities in their own country
, they try to move to another economically developed country
so that their children
can pursue desired educational degrees in a renowned university. For example
, a plethora of students from worldwide come to Canada for tertiary studies. Consequently
, the migration rate to Canada is increasing significantly.
On the other side, sometimes it has become challenging to adapt to a new environment in a foreign country
, especially for the children
whereas
they have friends and a strong childhood memory of their own Correct word choice
apply
country
. Moreover
, they suffer an identity crisis in the new place since everyone is unknown to them, including their school and playground, which could be the leading cause of their trouble. For instance
, One of my relatives went to Germany last
year with his whole family with their two children
. After settlement in that country
, their children
became depressed because of deep feelings for their old school. As a result
, life
became considerably hard for those children
to survive. Nevertheless
, sometimes parents have no choice to
make their Correct word choice
but to
childrens'
future better.
In conclusion, Change noun form
children's
Although
it is problematic to enter an uncertain new environment from a known place, it also
could bring blessings for their
following generations. I believe it is better to Change the word
the
pass
a bit hard time Verb problem
have
to adapt
to an unknown location to get a preferable living.Change the verb form
adapting
Submitted by
on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Clearly divide the essay into paragraphs. Each main point should have its own paragraph to enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Use more linking words and phrases to connect ideas smoothly.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support each main point. This will make your arguments stronger and more persuasive.
task achievement
Simplify complex sentences where possible. This helps in improving the clarity of your ideas.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly presents both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view of the topic.
complete response
The main points are relevant to the topic and provide a comprehensive response to the task.
relevant specific examples
The essay includes a personal example, which adds a real-life perspective to the argument.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!