In many places today, rapid lifestyle changes are affecting family relationships. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

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It is often said that in most areas nowadays ,lifestyle is altering rapidly and these changes are impacting family interactions. From my point of view ,I believe
this
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could have many benefits than downsides.
Firstly
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,one of the main drawbacks is remoting families from each other.
For example
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one of the conspicuous changes in
today
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today's
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modern world is living alone. It means the population of the world is merging into
this
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model of lifestyle and they habitually decide to live without their family.
This
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could create multiple negative influences on our lives
such
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as the feeling of loneliness and conducting activities without helping.
Therefore
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,
this
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makes it clear why shifting in human lifestyles could have harmful effects on their method of living.
Secondly
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,apart from disadvantages ,
this
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could have many benefits.
For instance
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,when people accept
this
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rule to live alone
this
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could create an opportunity to become
self_suffuciant
Correct your spelling
self-sufficient
and commence running our lives
also
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,conducting our operations. In most European countries these days we can see the advantages of
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.
This
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would probably be a positive advance for humans ,especially ,the young generations. Another upside would be for parents. When their children leave home
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would be a suitable place to relax and conduct personal activities. We all know families always are engaging
their
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in their
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childrens'
Change noun form
children's
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work.
As a result
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,it becomes apparent there are many advantages behind each drawback of particular content. To summarise ,I personally believe shifting lifestyle has not numerous harmful effects on our family linkages. It is predicted that to continue increasing these kinds of changes in human lives we will become more independent in our daily lifestyles in the near future.
Submitted by maede.sadeghi8520 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a fair level of coherence and cohesion. Work on structuring your ideas more logically and ensure that each paragraph follows a clear sequence of ideas. Additionally, your introduction and conclusion could be more robust to better frame your argument.
task achievement
Your response addresses the prompt adequately and presents both advantages and disadvantages of rapid lifestyle changes on family relationships. To improve task achievement, focus on providing more specific examples and ensuring that your ideas are comprehensive and well-developed.
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