In many places today, rapid lifestyle changes are affecting family relationships. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

#places #lifestyle #changes #relationships #trend

It is often said that in most areas nowadays ,lifestyle is altering rapidly and these changes are impacting family interactions. From my point of view ,I believe

this

could have many benefits than downsides.

Firstly

,one of the main drawbacks is remoting families from each other.

For example

one of the conspicuous changes in

today

Change noun form

today's

show examples

modern world is living alone. It means the population of the world is merging into

this

model of lifestyle and they habitually decide to live without their family.

This

could create multiple negative influences on our lives

such

as the feeling of loneliness and conducting activities without helping.

Therefore

this

makes it clear why shifting in human lifestyles could have harmful effects on their method of living.

Secondly

,apart from disadvantages ,

this

could have many benefits.

For instance

,when people accept

this

rule to live alone

this

could create an opportunity to become

self_suffuciant

Correct your spelling

self-sufficient

and commence running our lives

also

,conducting our operations. In most European countries these days we can see the advantages of

this

This

would probably be a positive advance for humans ,especially ,the young generations. Another upside would be for parents. When their children leave home

this

would be a suitable place to relax and conduct personal activities. We all know families always are engaging

their

Change preposition

in their

show examples

childrens'

Change noun form

children's

show examples

work.

As a result

,it becomes apparent there are many advantages behind each drawback of particular content. To summarise ,I personally believe shifting lifestyle has not numerous harmful effects on our family linkages. It is predicted that to continue increasing these kinds of changes in human lives we will become more independent in our daily lifestyles in the near future.

Submitted by maede.sadeghi8520 on Fri Jan 28 2022

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coherence cohesion

Your essay demonstrates a fair level of coherence and cohesion. Work on structuring your ideas more logically and ensure that each paragraph follows a clear sequence of ideas. Additionally, your introduction and conclusion could be more robust to better frame your argument.

task achievement

Your response addresses the prompt adequately and presents both advantages and disadvantages of rapid lifestyle changes on family relationships. To improve task achievement, focus on providing more specific examples and ensuring that your ideas are comprehensive and well-developed.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

276 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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