IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #situation #job #shortage #money #situations
Every individual has different opinions when it's
about
Change preposition
to
show examples
career satisfaction. Some of them believe adapting to their bad
situations
 are the best,
such
 as unsatisfactory or low package jobs while others argue that improving those
situations
 are the correct choice. In my opinion, changing the difficult circumstances would be the best. We will discuss
further
 on
this
 topic and exhibit reasons to support my opinion.
Although
, knowing the facts of unsatisfaction and less pay in their employment, a part of the population would like to stay in the same position for long-duration for benefits and mostly, they don't prefer changes in their routine.
For instance
, my grandfather, who could have a got bright future in the private sector, had decided not to look for a better job and retired from the same government job because he wanted to utilize the benefits
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 pension, home/marriage loan, etc...
This
 shows that people would like to be in
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
unfavourable
situations
. On another hand, some of the population, especially the youngsters, would like to change everything. They would like to create solutions for all kinds of issues that once seemed distant.
In other words
, scientists invented many things which made our life sophisticated.
For example
, we never imagined air travel but now we all are relying upon that mode of transport the most. Which proves the changing circumstances are better, globally. To conclude, despite, choosing to stay in unfavourable
situations
 or modifying is individual preferences. In my opinion, making better possibilities from worse case scenarios would benefit everyone around the globe, still now
this
 how the world improvising and the world a better place to live.
Submitted by gomathi10.ch on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
What to do next:
Look at other essays: