IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people argue that job satisfaction is more important than job security, while others believe that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, and a permanent job is more important. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion?

#people #job #satisfaction #security
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There is a controversial notion heating a debate over the
job
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 expectation. While some hold a view that
job
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 satisfaction is the most pivotal element, the opposites make a statement that
job
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 security
also
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 plays a significant role.
Although
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 each has its own perks, I would contend that it is ideal to combine both mentioned factors.
Job
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 gratification is one of the pivotal elements in
people
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's occupation selection. Its definition can vary from one to another including salary, motivation or personal interest, especially
working
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in working
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 environment. A suitable workplace can make
people
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 feel comfortable and boost their productivity.
For instance
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, Google, which is an internationally acclaimed technological corporation, provides not only canteens but
also
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 recreational rooms to help their employees recharge their batteries when they feel stressed.
Thus
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, iob contentment is imperative when a person choose a line of work. While the redeeming features of
job
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 satisfaction are widely acknowledged, it is unfair if those of
job
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 security are ignored. Staying in a vocation for a long time can bring
people
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 more promotional opportunities. Some companies look at their seniority as
a criteria
Correct the article-noun agreement
criteria
a criterion
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 when they choose
a
Change the article
an
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upper-manager
Correct your spelling
upper manager
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. If they devote
to
Correct pronoun usage
themselves to
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 a company in the long term, they can be nominated to be a leader because they have a firm grasp
about
Change preposition
of
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company
Add an article
the company
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 and their expertise. So
job
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 security is
also
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 integral in work choice. In conclusion,
job
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complancence
Correct your spelling
complacence
complacency
 and long term
job
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 are important
career
Add the particle
to career
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 selection , so
people
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 need to balance both of them to find the most appropriate occupation.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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