IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think it is better for people to change their career at least once in their life and do different kinds of jobs. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

There is an opinion that people should change their
job
Use synonyms
 at least once in
activity
Check wording
their career
show examples
 to do other jobs. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement, because it is important to know some kind of
sphere
Use synonyms
. But there is some specific
what
Correct word choice
that
show examples
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
I
explain
Verb problem
can explain
show examples
 below. It is impossible to work in
one
Use synonyms
sphere
Use synonyms
 or workplace
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
show examples
 of
life
Use synonyms
. Every person needs to explore several spheres. In that case, the person will know how to work other rules in
life
Use synonyms
. The different experiences are very helpful in some situations
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 at least, it is interesting to talk with people who
Use synonyms
job
Verb problem
work
show examples
 in other areas. 
For instance
Linking Words
, the experience of working teachers can help in government agencies, museums or in writing.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are some specialised, which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 better not
change
Wrong verb form
changed
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, to be a doctor all of
life
Use synonyms
, it is
on
Punctuation problem
, on
show examples
contrary
Correct article usage
the contrary
show examples
, useful. Because with each
year
Punctuation problem
year,
show examples
 doctors
became
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
 more professional and it is more useful than if they choose another profession in the middle of their career. The engineers would be useful
too
Correct word order
apply
show examples
to the community
.
Correct word order
too.
show examples
Sometimes
Punctuation problem
Sometimes,
show examples
 to be professional in
one
Use synonyms
 area is better
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 than working in a different
sphere
Use synonyms
per
Change preposition
for
show examples
little
Correct article usage
a little
show examples
 time.
Such
Linking Words
 told someone
: "I
Verb problem
said, "I
show examples
 am afraid not
one
Use synonyms
 who knows a little of many spheres, I
afraid
Verb problem
am afraid
show examples
 of
one
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 who
learnt
Verb problem
has learnt
show examples
one
Use synonyms
sphere
Use synonyms
 deeply and long time" In conclusion, I want to note that before changing a
job
Use synonyms
 and
send
Wrong verb form
sending
show examples
 here, it is better to think deeply, because specialises are different. In some
,
Check wording
spheres,sphere
show examples
Use synonyms
sphere
Check wording
apply
show examples
 it is better to remain all of
life
Use synonyms
,
due to
Linking Words
 their usage. But there are spheres, which became a good experience
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 another
job
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Make your view clear at once in the essay. Say 'I agree' or 'I disagree' and stick to it throughout the writing.
task response
Give 1 or 2 main ideas. Explain each with a simple reason or a small example.
language
Use short, plain sentences. Check for grammar that makes a sentence hard to read.
structure
Put intro, body, and conclusion in clear order. Try one idea per paragraph.
coherence
Link ideas with simple words like 'and', 'but', 'also', 'for example' to show how ideas fit.
structure
End with a short conclusion that restates your view.
content
The writer shows some clear view that agrees with the statement.
content
Some ideas link to real life work in a light way.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • career
  • job
  • work
  • change
  • switch
  • learn
  • skill
  • grow
  • new
  • different
  • plan
  • decision
  • choice
  • market
  • demand
  • money
  • salary
  • stability
  • risk
  • time
  • effort
  • future
  • success
  • boredom
  • motivation
  • job satisfaction
  • experience
  • prepare
  • advice
What to do next:
Look at other essays: