Some people suggest that children do not understand the world of work and schools should make all teenager spend a short time working as well as studying academic subjects. To what extent do you agree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people are of the idea that
children
have no experience in working, that’s why they do not understand the world of
work
.
Then
in order to make them understand, schools must have a rule forcing all the teenagers to consume an amount of
time
for working
besides
studying at classes. From my point of view, I completely disagree with
this
way of thinking. One of the main reasons leading to my disagreement is that
children
might have not officially worked, they do have to struggle with homework. Nowadays, most of the schools are inflicting a great deal of homework upon students, which is why even though
children
have not got their workplaces yet but they already understand clearly the feeling of dealing
work
in an office.
This
means forcing the teenagers to
work
not only reduces their
time
for doing homework but
also
their
time
for recharging their batteries. The
second
reason reinforcing my opinion would be the distraction that working can cause in
children
. Working always goes along with a little payment or reward, it’s easy for
children
to get completely immersed in it.
For example
, in America, many teenagers choose to drop out of school in order to get a job in McDonald or other fast-food chains, convenience stores because they only see the petty reward in front of their eyes, so they lose their patience and let go of a bigger opportunity in
further
future. In a nutshell,
although
encouraging the
children
to
work
and experience can be justified for some reasons, I’m more inclined towards
this
idea’s downsides because of the aforementioned reasons. But if a child can really balance his
time
between working and studying, it would be the perfect chance for him to experience the world of
work
in advance.
Submitted by mingm0301 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: