IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The best way to understand other cultures is to work for a multinational organization. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#cultures #work #organization
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Cultures
Use synonyms
 and traditions of communities are considered as esteem and being preserved from the ancient days. Some people believe that the significant approach to
explore
Wrong verb form
exploring
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 other
cultures
Use synonyms
 is to work in multinational companies. I believe
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 the best way to learn about
cultures
Use synonyms
 is by exploring different places across the world. So,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 disagree with the idea of working in a foreign company to acquire the knowledge of other countries. Trips to unexplored sites provide us with a wide knowledge of different
cultures
Use synonyms
 and would
more
Add a missing verb
be more
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 likely to interact with residents and learn new languages.
Moreover
Linking Words
, one could engage
within
Change preposition
in
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 their festival celebrations, which signifies their cultural importance. History of a war that happened in the past and
architectures
Fix the agreement mistake
architecture
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 are useful for a research study. Indeed, useful lessons can be learned from the traditions of rural areas.
For example
Linking Words
, countryside communities celebrate a few festivals every year to remember their ancestors,
as well as
Linking Words
 their ,achievements which are revised in the form of storytelling.
Thus
Linking Words
, I think
being
Verb problem
going
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 to places in person would help us to know more about other traditions. These days, many multinational organizations are not allowing workers to be more cultural, in order to achieve uniformity within the company. Working at well-established companies
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
 not give
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
 to explore new languages, since English is used as a common language. Employers may be restricted to following a dress code rather than the community wears. Another striking point, in many organizations, employees are less likely to enjoy their own festivals and follow globalized events like Christmas and New
year
Capitalize word
Year
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.
Hence
Linking Words
, working in a multinational workplace would not be the best place to have exposure to new
cultures
Use synonyms
. To summarise, I
would
Verb problem
apply
show examples
believe that passing through various places as a tourist is the best way to study different community behaviours rather than working in an organisation which restricts workers
to have
Change preposition
from having
show examples
 exposure to
others
Change noun form
others'
other's
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 heritage because of the code of conduct.
Submitted by naveengolla123 on

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task response
Ensure that all parts of the essay directly address the question prompt, providing a balanced argument and addressing all aspects of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Maintain a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout the essay, using cohesive devices to connect sentences and paragraphs and presenting a well-structured argument.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and concisely, and be cautious of word choice and accuracy in meaning.
grammatical range
Demonstrate a wider range of grammatical structures, including complex and compound sentences, and aim for a higher level of accuracy in grammar and punctuation.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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