Some people believe that all wild animals should be protected. Others say that few wild animals should be protected instead. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Several representatives of modern society deem that the vast majority of wild animals should be protected

whereas

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others argue with

this

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statement and contend that the minority of wild animals should be protected. From my perspective, I agree definitely with the former statement. I am going to reflect on

this

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essay my core position

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show examples

such

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an issue in order to confirm my point of view by

mean’s

Change noun form

means

show examples

of strong arguments On the one hand, modern humanity exerts an adverse impact on the planet and owing to its actions triggers certain repercussions for the environment. One of the main damages

for

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show examples

nature is composed of killing animals. As far as I am aware, a large number of species undergo jeopardy from communities.

Moreover

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, actions, which are committed by hunters, have a significant influence on the population of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

wildlife

overall

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For instance

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, an insufficient number of individuals can suspend the breeding process.

Hence

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such

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species can become extinct.

Therefore

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, several experts allege that these individuals, especially endangered breeds must

save

Wrong verb form

be saved

show examples

On the other hand

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, several people claim that it is not necessary to assist the environment and protect representatives of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

wildlife. In my opinion, nature has a tremendous effect on humanity and every individual is immensely essential

for

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our existence.

Consequently

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, killing birds, fishes,

beasts

Correct word choice

and beasts

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humans damage not only them.

Conversely

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, people damage the future of our planet and the

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further

Correct word choice

future

show examples

generations.

Therefore

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, I totally disagree that the minority of species should be saved.

To sum up

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, I would stress that having discussed the most pertinent points about

this

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issue, it is true that

such

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a tendency incurs criticism.

Nonetheless

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,only governments must decide

upon

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apply

show examples

for themselves how they can save the environment. In my opinion, all representatives of wild nature should be protected.

Submitted by sunsistem123 on Sun Jan 30 2022

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Essay structure and task response

Task response: The essay addresses the given prompt, but the argument lacks depth and balance. The response should present a more balanced discussion of both views and provide a clearer opinion with supporting points.

Coherence and cohesion

Coherence and cohesion: The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the body paragraphs lack coherence and cohesive development. There is a need for better organization of ideas and use of cohesive devices to link sentences and paragraphs.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

294 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

biodiversity
ecosystem
conservation status
ecological significance
holistic approach
endangered species
natural heritage
unforeseen negative impacts
economically non-viable
prioritization
ecosystem balance
conservation efforts

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Some people believe that all wild animals should be protected. Others say that few wild animals should be protected instead. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that the effective way to reduce industrial pollution is to tax the companies which cause these types of pollution. others think that there are other ways. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some people think that children should start school very early. Some people think they should start at least when they are 7 years old. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that the experiences children have before they go to school will have the greatest effect on their future lives. Others argue that experiences gained when they are teenagers have a bigger influence. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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