With the pressures on today’s young people to succeed academically, some people believe that non-academic subjects at school (eg: physical education and cookery) should be removed from the syllabus so that children can concentrate wholly on academic subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#pressures #today’s #people #subjects #school #eg #education #cookery #syllabus #children

Disciplines at school provide basic knowledge for

children

. Generally, each youngster’s

life

starts from school

subjects

. They are specially organised at the institute to provide literacy and important

life

skills

in various areas of

life

. Some people believe that academic

subjects

give more success in adulthood in comparison to non-academic

subjects

and it should be removed from schools extra circular activities .

Although

academic achievements are essential I strongly believe that non-academic

subjects

teach

children

crucial

life

skills

and make them healthier and successful. From my point of view that only academic

subjects

can bring success to future adults, society can lose the opportunity to raise teenagers in harmony. There is a lot of evidence that non-academic

skills

such

as cookery or physical education have the same impact on

children

’s development as academic disciplines are considered to have.

For example

, physical education helps

children

to strengthen their bodies and increases their strong will and ability to bear difficulties.

Moreover

such

skills

as cookery or

skill

Correct article usage

the skill

show examples

to sew can develop attentive and creative people.

As a result

, after gaining simple physical talents youngsters become more confident due to obtained practice and experience to live. The other reason non-academic

subjects

are important is the well-being issue. It is obvious that

children

require activities which improve their energy status as physical exercises and active games. If they do not have physical education in schools as a subject, they feel weak and motionless.

As a result

, they become less interested in the study, they get sick often and do not have the ability to resist diseases.

Consequently

, society should anticipate demotivated and physically powerless members, who cannot succeed a lot in adulthood because of strength problems or lack of energy. To conclude, school

children

should have an opportunity to grow mentally and physically stronger. As it was above mentioned,

this

chance can be given if they have both academic and non-academic

subjects

to study at schools.

Submitted by asaurav528 on Mon Jan 31 2022

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

322 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Fully explain your ideas

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people think governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems to help people to prevent illness and disease

While many people go to university for academic study, more people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. Do you agree or disagree?