IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many people believe that increasing levels of violence on television and in films is having a direct result on levels of violence in society. Others claim that violence in society is the result of more fundamental social problems such as unemployment. How much do you think society is affected by violence in the media

#people #levels #violence #television #films #society #unemployment #media
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people think that growing levels of fighting on TV or in films contribute to a direct result of rampage in society. Nowadays, the appearance of terrorism there is an influence lack of proper upbringing. To
this
Linking Words
 belongs the more scale behavioural complication.
Also
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 may be in the individual issue from a psychological obstacle. Because it is starting at watching more mental. As we can know ,
such
Linking Words
 a plot shows everything is in the open.
Further
Linking Words
, it would be certain types of movies can provoke bloodshed.
This
Linking Words
 will lead to a lack of proper upbringing and learning patterns of behaviour.
Moreover
Linking Words
, when we watched these animations about the struggle we might have a personal frustration. It means superiority and inferiority complexes.
However
Linking Words
, other people believe that confusion in society is the result of more fundamental social issues
such
Linking Words
 as unemployment . In more
this
Linking Words
 world the number of unemployed grow every day.It does affect social inequalities. As we can see , in the latter-day plants amount jobless have a dispute of financial pressure. If you haven't owned a job , you won't have great money.
Likewise
Linking Words
, you stop paying your single month credits and other debts you took from others. In
this
Linking Words
 problem is to get out of the whole problem and for a pay loan, they commit crimes. They will steal from the rich's house the property things, car,all of the money, all assets jewellery. All these troubles could be a clash. In the end , we do both of the options. As given above, assault affects TV and film. In conclusion, it is really important for humanity to take control of those problems and to keep the planet safe and clean.
Submitted by yessenbekassylzhan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: