IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people believe that the only purpose of films is entertainment. Others say films have educational value. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #purpose #films #entertainment #value
Film
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The film
show examples
 is the
creatures
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creature
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 of human creativity which
expressed
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is expressed
show examples
 in sounds, pictures which good
plot
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plots
show examples
 and
meaning
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meanings
show examples
.
By
Change preposition
For
show examples
people
 nowadays,
film
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the film
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 is
extremetly
Correct your spelling
extremely
inportant
Correct your spelling
important
 as the
tersier
Correct your spelling
tarsier
terrier
 needed that must be
fullfilled
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fulfilled
 in order to gain the
balance
Correct your spelling
balanced
show examples
 lives. The kinds of films
are depend
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depend
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 on what purpose of it and what types of viewers they would like to achieve.
Therefore
, there will be
spesification
Correct your spelling
specification
specifications
 of the movie that one
focusing
Wrong verb form
focuses
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 entertainment and the other will
including
Wrong verb form
include
show examples
 the educational or moral
value
.
Bassically
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Basically
, the purpose of
film
probabbly
Correct your spelling
probably
 to entertain
people
 in order to realise their
tentions
Correct your spelling
tensions
intentions
 on their daily basis and sometimes they
also
 use
movie
Add an article
the movie
a movie
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 to intensify the quality time with family or with their special person. Several types of
film
 that could bring those feeling are fantasy,
romantism
Correct your spelling
romanticism
romantic
, comedy and daily
live
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life
show examples
. They are including
of
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apply
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superhero
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superheroes
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, actions
,
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apply
show examples
 loves.
As a result
, after watching
those kind
Change the determiner
that kind
those kinds
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 of films,
people
usualy
Correct your spelling
usually
 will be
inspirated
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inspired
 and ready to confront the
next
 part of their lives.
Dispite
Correct your spelling
Despite
 only entertain
people
,
however
,
film
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the film
show examples
also
provide
Change the verb form
provides
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 educational knowledge and moral
value
. For instants of
this
grups
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group
 are history, disaster, space observations, religions, and
autobioghrapy
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autobiography
 of
inspirational
Add an article
an inspirational
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 person. The purpose of
this
 movie is to educate
people
 on which
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humans
belongs
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belong
show examples
.
The sensitivity
Correct article usage
Sensitivity
show examples
 and humanity are the moral
value
 that
Correct your spelling
usually
usualy
Add a missing verb
are usualy
show examples
 included in
this
 product which will increase viewers
Fix the agreement mistake
attention
show examples
attentions
Correct your spelling
attention
show examples
 to
value
 their
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
. To conclude, both entertainment and educational
film
 are important for society. Those
are relate
Change the verb form
are related
show examples
 and support each other in order to gain live balance.
Submitted by panderino12 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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