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The relatively recent development of games on phones, computers, and TV consoles is extremely popular with people all over the world. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such electronic games?

#development #games #phones #computers #tv #consoles #people #world
Whole
Change the article
The whole
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 crowd most using electronic stuff in present date because
day
 by
day
 development up a high level and every parson try to do essay job but now life individuals most spend free future in phones and watching Tv like one they are playing
games
 it is a big effect on health. In my ,opinion
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 consider that disadvantages of
this
 way community lose the
helth
Correct your spelling
health
 and advantages of
this
 public
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
 a short moment on
games
. On the one hand, now
time
 more than
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 more prefer to play video
games
 because they do not go outside in their free
time
 and they are like to spend free point
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 phones and sawing Tv It is
big
Add an article
a big
the big
show examples
 disadvantage of health.
In other
words
Add a comma
,words
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 Individuals
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
going
Wrong verb form
go
show examples
 outside in
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 evening
time
 while it's important for health and they more
time
 spend
time
 electronically stuff like computer and playing video
games
For example
 In my whole society
free
Add a missing verb
is free
show examples
 in
evening
Add an article
the evening
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time
 because they come back
to
Change preposition
apply
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home after task but they do not prefer some
time
 going outside sports activities As a
thus
 In
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
future children not strong regarding
helth
Correct your spelling
health
 because teenagers most following Adults while adults resent
time
-wasting in phones and
games
.
On the other hand
' some advantages about it statement because folks are feeling boring after work because they are doing continue work about the job and after coming, back home they prefer some
time
 spend in
games
.
In other words
 now past do not have
Replace the quantifier
much
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many
Correct your spelling
any
show examples
time
 for every person because crowds busy daily school and they are spending little bit past video game because it's good for medley to relax helth
Add the comma(s)
, For example,
show examples
For example
 I am doing more work and I have do not much
time
 so
sometimestime
Correct your spelling
sometimes time
 I am playing
games
 and feel relaxed
As a result
 according to me people not spending more
time
 electrical stuff because it is bad habit
day
 by
day
 increasing it. In my
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
 the government should provide sports facilities in the whole society's because now year crowd do not have a park and sports place in living areas so that way individuals more prefer indoor activities like
games
.
Submitted by Varinderaujla9999 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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